Look at these two photos….
Where am I? What’s in my hand? How do I look, how do I feel outside?
How do I feel inside?
4 months ago, New Year’s Eve 2011….I’m in the back of the photo….I’m pretty darn happy…on the inside and outside….happier looking on the outside…concerned about how happy I look on the inside. Holding a drink..okay its NYE gotta party a little…but worried about how much I should drink to not look like a party pooper but how little can I drink so I don’t overdo my calories….trying to weigh my options….fit in but try to do some of the right thing. Happy to be hugged by my boyfriend, happy to be hidden in the back of the photo and have his arm around me, too.
Jump up a four months….to this weekend. Trying on bridesmaid dresses for my best friend’s wedding. Where am I? IN THE FRONT OF THE EFFING PHOTO! I’m ELATED to be in a photo with my friends and to be toasting my best friend. I’m ecstatic on the outside and I’m pretty proud of myself, satisfied and happy on the inside, too. What’s in my hand? WATER….what was being offered to everyone at the dress fitting? Champagne, orange juice, mimosas and cookies. What was I happy to drink and it didn’t even phase me or worry me that I needed to “fit in”..WATER. Was I happy with the choice before, while and after I drank it? YES. Do I think its super fun, cool, and invigorating to be posing all funky with my WATER toasting my best friend in the FRONT of the picture. YES!
That is all,