Apr 162012
 

 

Bridesmaid's Toast April 2012

Look at these two photos….

Where am I?  What’s in my hand? How do I look, how do I feel outside?

How do I feel inside?

4 months ago, New Year’s Eve 2011….I’m in the back of the photo….I’m pretty darn happy…on the inside and outside….happier looking on the outside…concerned about how happy I look on the inside.  Holding a drink..okay its NYE gotta party a little…but worried about how much I should drink to not look like a party pooper but how little can I drink so I don’t overdo my calories….trying to weigh my options….fit in but try to do some of the right thing.  Happy to be hugged by my boyfriend, happy to be hidden in the back of the photo and have his arm around me, too.

Jump up a four months….to this weekend.  Trying on bridesmaid dresses for my best friend’s wedding. Where am I? IN THE FRONT OF THE EFFING PHOTO! I’m ELATED to be in a photo with my friends and to be toasting my best friend. I’m ecstatic on the outside and I’m pretty proud of myself, satisfied and happy on the inside, too. What’s in my hand? WATER….what was being offered to everyone at the dress fitting? Champagne, orange juice, mimosas and cookies. What was I happy to drink and it didn’t even phase me or worry me that I needed to “fit in”..WATER. Was I happy with the choice before, while and after I drank it? YES. Do I think its super fun, cool, and invigorating to be posing all funky with my WATER toasting my best friend in the FRONT of the picture. YES!

BAM!

That is all,

<3 Merbear

Jan 242012
 

Every time Jen of Priorfatgirl has a gathering, whether its a semi-annual conference with arranged speakers, a set schedule and goodies to take home. Or, just a coffee meeting for anyone who wants to come and feel motivated, supported and not-alone in the struggle to be lead a healthy life and make good, healthy decisions.

On Saturday, January 21st, Jen invited those of us who wanted to build community, to make new friends, to learn, to share and get motivated, to join her at The Beat Coffeehouse. We were lucky to hear Mary Sailors, personal trainer from FitThisGirl, Philly D from Moksha Yoga Studio and Elle, another Priorfatgirl (yay Elle!) share their stories, mantras, and motivation to get us on track!

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Mary talked about Making Lasting Changes and one item that really struck a chord with me was setting goals for YOURSELF. If you make changes for others, ones that didn’t start with your own motivation and your own reasons…then the changes won’t last.  Every goal must start with you and must be a lasting goal, not a goal with an end date…because we may achieve goals for other people or goals with end dates (like a wedding or a class reunion), but then if that other person is ever not around or you pass that end date….the goal fades, motivation fades…and all your hard work could easily deteriorate.  This definitely rings true for me….in my past out of anger, I lost weight to prove to someone I wasn’t fat..but guess what, as soon as that toxic person was out of my life…the weight came back. I didn’t have the anger or the other person, albeit for a mean reason, motivating me…so the goal ended and I was back to the way I was before.   What goals are working for ME now?  Lifelong health and longevity…I want to be healthy and yes, on a vain tone…beautiful..for a long time…for ME…so I know I can do this.  I want a better quality of life for ME.   Mary talked about how Goals lead to action items and action items lead to strategies. The strategies are like a check list…so the goal doesn’t seem as daunting.   Taking small steps every day can do amazing things! Every day I drink 100 ozs of water and log my food, that will lead to the action item of losing 60 lbs, which will lead to my GOAL of a long, healthy life!  Thanks Mary!!!!

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Philly D really moved us in sharing his experience and expertise around the theme of meeting the moments in your life. He calls it RISE UP. Everything that grows has roots, if you don’t have the right roots, you can’t grow.  Root yourself and RISE UP!

“To Rise Up You Have to Wake Up And Be Present”

Awareness of the moment, of where you are now, leads to better choices and thus a better life.

“I Will Tune In To What I Feel”

Be Vs. Do….we can do what we want to do or we can “be” who we want to be!  Don’t just do things that a good person or a healthy person would do…BE a healthy person…get in touch with what you want to BE.  One way to work on “being” is with controlling and learning how to use our breath. Yoga and mediation can help us do this. Breath is our life, choosing to change our life can be started by choosing to control our breath.. To choose to breathe deliberately is a choice to live deliberately.

“When Rising Up Don’t Forget To Reach Down”

“Be What you Love and Use What You Love”

Who we surround ourselves with…the people we follow and the people we bring along with us….are all assets to our journey. Make sure and surround yourself with people who you exemplify the qualities you are looking for or whom you feel that you can meld with and share your qualities.

“Life has length, and Width”

…days since we were born, months until your birthday, years until you are gone.  But also, how do use use those days, months and years. How much “width” does your life have…how much sharing, how much understanding how much “being there”

Identify who you are, what you want..establish those roots with deliberate breathing, focus and love….you will be who you want to be.

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The final speaker was a girl I consider a friend, but also someone I look up to, Elle. Unlike with Mary and Phil…I didn’t really take notes, I just wanted to take in her story, her thoughts and her feelings and just, reflect.  Elle is a wonderful story teller, you can see this in her posts that just suck you in and create images and feelings all in a big swirl, at least to me. But, I digress….on Saturday Elle talked to us about her journey…how she just didn’t think about being overweight, to her experience with hiding from facing the facts, her first few attempts at losing and then gaining back weight, to her family actually *intervening”…then finally, her finding her own way, with a bit of professional direction for a bit, and also just finding her own peace and balance.  I’m not going to recount her story because it is told so well in her blogging.  He story did motivate me though, I learned, through others in the room nodding their heads and recounting their own experiences, along with Elle’s own story, that I’m not alone…everyone has trials, doubts, and setbacks…low points..rock bottom points…..but with determination, accepting help from our friends and family..and a focus on the other side….the other side that people like Elle, Mary, Phil and Jen can tell us about….that its all worth it.

I am feeling motivated, encouraged, supported and loved…….thank you to Jen, Mary, Phil, Elle….for reaching down while you rise up.

<3 Merbear