Jun 032013
 
Team Flower Power

Relay Team Flower Power!

 

Yesterday I ran on a 4 person relay team for the Minneapolis Marathon and it was fantastic!  My leg of the relay was 5.1 miles and I ran at a 13:19 pace, which is the fastest I have done since hurting my back 3 weeks ago and the LONGEST DISTANCE I have run since last September when I did a 10K.

I get such a great rush from wanting to do the best I can for my team, just the whole race atmosphere…a bunch of other people also trying to do their best AND tons of support and cheers, and  just looking forward to celebrating at the end!!!

My leg was so pretty…I ran on streets, walking paths, bridges and a brick road.  There were a couple hills, which I chose to walk up instead of run…I think that helped me keep my pace versus hurt me.  I took a couple walking breaks towards the end while watching my overall pace so I’d only lose a few seconds..which I instantly regained once I started running again (30 seconds of recovery is sometimes all we need to keep going strong!)

 

Hitching A Ride

Hitching a Ride from Relay Exchange 1 to 2!

My team overall did a fantastic job as well.  We all came in faster than our predicted paces AND we finished the marathon 26 minutes sooner than we thought we would, beating our record from last year! :)

We were all feeling a bit nervous about our run this year since we haven’t been able to dedicate as much time to training as we did last year.  Despite the hiccups in training, we all got our finishers medals and were super proud of ourselves at the end of the day.

I just love that rush of pride and joy of accomplishment at the end of a race and its 1 million times better when you did it with a team!

Not only were RUNNERS part of our team though, we had good friends Kris and Corryn providing tremendous support. We didn’t have to worry about taking relay shuttles, riding the light rail, parking our own cars, or even checking/lugging our gear around.

I truly hope this kicks of a fantastic rest of the summer and into fall running streak :) I’m going to keep doing lots of stretching before and after races and I’ll be kicking up my cross-training, too!  I’m looking forward to getting my pace back to where it was early in the year AND to improving even more!

My next race is a 5K, its the Color Run here in the Twin Cities in July and I’m very much looking forward to it!

Oh, and as an update with my Emily Program treatment…I have been feeling much more confident with myself and my choices…its a slow process, but I feel myself getting better.  Positive attitude, which is enhanced by working out helps!! :)

<3 Merbear

 

May 242013
 

I accept myself – fully and unconditionally, as I am, in this moment

 

The second part of my Emily Program journey started this week – therapy.  Every eating disorder has roots, some are obvious, but most are not.  My eating disorder ties right in to my anxiety (not surprising) and the roots of my anxiety are fear of abandonment and the need to seek approval and acceptance of myself from outside sources. On the outside, to people who don’t know me, and much to my chagrin, I may appear selfish and needy. As my husband says, “there you go again think for your selfer”. I admit that I act this way. I’ve developed this defensiveness over the years…anytime I even slightly perceive that I’m not being listened to or I think that someone has the wrong idea about me…I overreact.  Its because I perceive that person is not accepting me or approving of me any longer (so I have learned in therapy). It shakes my anxiety to the core. But, it makes me look and act like a child.

My need breaks my emotions, makes me crave comfort and to feel good.  Thus triggering emotional eating  that can turn into compulsive eating.

On Sunday a celebrated my birthday with my family. I had such a good time dancing with my niece, hugging my nephew, having excellent conversation with my parents, sister, brother-in-law, cousin and husband. But, something in me was sad…I’m not feeling so awesome about my body right now…after a week of prescribed rest and prednisone for a back injury..I felt like a big blob…sad that I didn’t want new clothes for my birthday because they’d all be in big sizes..which I’d have to accept as where I am, albeit temporary. I gave in to being sad and I grabbed 4 sugar cookies, sat down on the couch and flipped on the TV.  Although its fine to have a dessert and its fine to have cookies, the *reason* I took the cookies and the *reason* I chose four is disordered. I just wanted to have that yummy taste and feel that crunch.  Ryan had been tuned in to my feelings all day (like the good hubby he is) and he called down from upstairs and asked how I was doing…he heard the tremor in my voice and came down to talk it out.  I should have just talked to him first…because of course it helped to just share.  I felt so much better.

Just for a bit of clarification –  I’m not a binge eater anymore..that was when I was much younger, I’m a compulsive eater.  I didn’t feel out of control when I ate those cookies, I just ate them for the wrong reason. My feelings made me want to eat, instead of actually dealing with and going through them (I need an outside source, some don’t.)  Ryan helped make me feel better, not the cookies. :)

My Monday session with my new therapist felt awesome…she asked about my past and how I’m feeling now. We really dug in to find the source of my anxiety in general and how that relates to my compulsive eating. I felt good after that hour chat with her, after identifying what is really going on. Developing an understanding, even if its not a solution, feels good and has already helped me this week. I’m able to talk out and reason out why I feel a certain way and even talk through it with close friends and family. I still seek approval, agreement and acceptance..so it does feel better when I can explain it all to someone else and they “get it”, too. But, when its family and close friends, that’s okay :)

I’m okay, I’m me..and I love me :)

<3 Merbear

May 062013
 

My cravings to eat compulsively or binge have already started to wane away, because I have allowed myself to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. Imagine that, allow myself to have any food, whenever I feel hungry….and I eat LESS

Last week when I met with my dietitian at The Emily Program, she talked to me about how there is a physical and mental part of everything we eat. The physical part is the nutrition, the mental part is how our brain reports back to our emotions about being full..or I could even say “fulfilled.”

She said I’m pretty good at the physically full/comfortable part of things, but not the mentally full.  Which is why I tend to overeat, have cravings, and can’t stop thinking about food.

I now need to make sure I have 3 meals and 3 snacks a day and even my snacks need to give my brain the message that I am fulfilled.   We put together some snacks based on things that I love and her nutritional know how.

One of key things is that whether our body eats a light cracker/cookie or a regular cracker/cookie our physical need may be filled,we gave ourselves a “grain” and maybe a “sugar”  but our mental side sees the light ones and how they have less fat, less calories, more empty processed stuff and isn’t fulfilled.

Our body mentally and physically also needs a grain/fat/protein/fruit or veggie  in every meal or snack…so a fat free or light yogurt is seen/processed as a dairy…where as a regular one is dairy, fat and fruit! Ooh, that regular yogurt hit a couple of the must haves of a meal or snack!  (yes, we need dairy but it doesn’t have to be in every meal or snack).

A bit of a “showstopper” for me, to tell my brain that a meal is over is fat and/or sugar.  So, if I have two Dove chocolates at the end of lunch, that tells my brain lunch is over..and it removes and/or majorly limits my compulsion to overeat, keep grazing, or eventually binge on something for fulfillment.

Snacks we put together for me to use this week for morning snack and afternoon snack (since evening snack is ice cream always!!)

Homemade trail mix: Cheerios, cashews, coated almonds, m&m’s (I make an amount with a mixture per her recipe that will last me 7-10 days)

Actual snacks:

  • homemade trail mix with 1/2 banana (or a small banana)
  • snack bag of regular crackers(CheezIts are my choice) with 2 light laughing cow/1 regular laughing cow/1 baby bel
  • snack bag of Goldfish with regular string cheese
  • regular single serving yogurt & two cookies (Oreos are my choice)
  • Chobani bites (small, sweet yogurt) with 100 calorie pack of regular buttered popcorn
  • 3-4 graham crackers and a regular pudding cup

She also suggested that I have a bit of chocolate after lunch :)

So far, I’m feeling much happier with food :)

<3 Merbear

Apr 262013
 

I’ve now seen a dietitian twice at the Emily program. She’s fantastic and takes on every patient as an individual, vs just applying a “plan” which I totally love.

We finished up my intake this week and my assignment is now to record what I’m eating…but this is not the same as Weight Watchers or calorie counting.

She is linked to my entries and we can talk about them in future appointments. She uses it to help me find patterns, ways of thinking, etc.

Here’s an example of one of my entries (there is an app on my phone, as well as a web page that I can use with the questions).

  • How energetic are you feeling? (scale from lethargic -moderate – hyperactive) very engergized
  • How are you feeling overall? (scale from depressed – average – rocking the world) great
  • Yes/No Questions:
  • Are you feeling guilt? no
  • Are you feeling anxious? no
  • Are you feeling sad? no
  • Are you feeling irritable? no
  • Are you feeling angry? no
  • Are you feeling bored? no
  • Are you feeling tired? no
  • Are you feeling joy? yes
  • Who did you eat with? (alone – friends – parents – other) alone
  • Where did you eat? (school/work/home/friend’s house/outside/restaurant/ in treatment/other): home
  • How long ago did you eat? 8:00am
  • What did you eat and drink? (not measurements or portions, just a space to list it out)
  1. Fiber One Chocolate Cereal w/Almond Milk
  2. Coffee with cinnamon/honey/almond milk
  3. Banana
  • Portion size: (inadequate/adequate/excessive): adequate
  • Did you binge? (yes/no): no
  • How strong is your urge to binge now? (scale from not at all – moderate – overbearing): not at all
  • How hungry were you before your meal? (scale from not at all – moderate – extremely starved): famished
  • How full are you now? (scale from not at all – comfortable – unbearable): comfortable
  • Thought diary (a place for notes/thoughts about the meal): Average breakfast. I had a big bowl of cereal and I hope it will tide me through to lunch at noon with my friend.

 

Obviously each meal and each day can be very different depending on what is going on around me, how I feel, etc.  But I wanted to share this because even though it is tracking…its not for making me aware of what’s going into my mouth, its making me aware of my attitudes towards food, people, mealtimes, etc.

I’ve learned a few things already and it hasn’t even been a whole week! For example…a good attitude, great night’s sleep and recent exercise help me automatically make better choices, and it doesn’t feel like “restricting” its just a choice..and it happens to be a good one :)

Hugs

<3 Merbear

Apr 102013
 

I’ve been trying to lose weight, be healthy and stay that way since I was 19 years old and in college. To make a long story short I’ve been up and down…I’ve done  calorie counting, points counting, LA Weight Loss, back to points, Slimgenics and back to points.  Its not that these programs didn’t or don’t work, but I always struggle through them, have rough patches of sabotaging my efforts by having a “good” day and then a “bad” one.

I overeat when I’m alone, way out of the public eye and especially out of the eyesight of my family and friends.  I was a binge eater when I was in elementary, junior high and high school.  I didn’t know it then.  In college I had more to do, more to think about and I walked all around campus, noticed I was dropping weight so I decided to not snack anymore and because I had never tried to lose weight before the first 15 came right off that year. After that, not so much and I’ve been going through cycles of being at goal (for no more than 4 months or so at a time) to being on one weight loss plan or another. I’ll be doing super well on the plan and then its like my brain rebels and I find ways to eat extra treats when no one is looking. I’m pretty good at bouncing back and saying “oh hey its a new day”…but it keeps happening, over and over.

Plans are great for people that need to learn about nutrition, healthy eating habits, exercise, healthy lifestyle choices…well, I know all these things…so why do I keep failing?

I finally went and asked The Emily Progam.  I had been avoiding getting help because I kept telling myself:

“I’m not anorexic, I’m not bulimic…I don’t count as a person with a eating disorder, I’m just lazy and I don’t have enough willpower to follow a plan…its stupid for me to ask for help”

But, I started seeing my blogger friends online talk about how compulsive eating and binge eating have actually been named as eating disorders and how more people can get help now. The blogger that got my attention first and who I specifically went and read her a blog about her experiences is Fit and Free with Emily.

Then I saw more billboards and signs on the sides of buses about the Emily Program and decided the worst that could happen is they could say no, I don’t have an issue they can help with.

Which I was really afraid of and thought it would confirm that I’m dumb, lazy, don’t work hard enough or try hard enough or have enough willpower to lose weight.

Well, after a 1 hour intake meeting that involved talking to a counselor about all my eating history since I was a child, my life now, what I eat now, what I think or feel about this or that and then a 2 hour written test about feelings, thoughts, etc.  Then, a 2nd meeting to go over the 1st meeting results and clarify a few things….I heard her say…

We can help you”

I think you could hear the rush of air coming out of my mouth, my back relaxing into the comfy sofa and a big smile on my face…

“holy crap”, I thought to myself….”I’m not lazy, I’m not weak, I get help!”

I will be set up with a therapist and a dietitian who will help me make my relationship with food normal. Eating will be like brushing my teeth, getting dressed..dare I say like breathing. 

She showed me how the history I shared with her and my testing results clearly show I have a Binge Eating, Compulsive Eating and Food Restriction Eating Disorder.   Lo and behold, plans like Weight Watchers, Slimgenics, tracking calories, LA Weightloss, etc actually exacerbate my binge eating and compulsive eating, not eliminate or even help.

Thanks for reading,  I hope this helps you understand how a person with a less public or less “well known” eating disorder might feel or perhaps this is you?  There’s help out there.

Hugs

<3 Merbear

 

Mar 272013
 

I chatted a bit about this in my PNP Trackstar Challenge Facebook group, so thanks to those of you that are reading this again. I thought this would be a good topic to bring up to all my readers.

I haven’t been to a WW meeting for two weeks until today (I was on business trips, couldn’t find another meeting out of town that would fit in either)…..I’m up 9 lbs from my last weigh in. Ugh. I’m very glad that I don’t have any more traveling for quite awhile..and this was the first time I have ever traveled for work. So, I think I will recoup (I actually reset my WW start weight to start over)….and I will be ready with a plan next time I business travel.

There are things that I need to remember to plan ahead for:

1) Barley’s Angel’s meetings..there will be beer..I will be tasting it and discussing it with my friends (1x a month)

2) Parties on weekends….my friends get together and do gaming parties with lots of snacks and alcohol

3) No last minute food challenges…have snacks on hand, meal plans on hand, preview menus or have a plan for when I can’t preview a menu

4) I’m a foodie and a beer geek…there are so many awesome (healthy or not so healthy) things to try out there…I want to try them because I love the variety and trying new things….same with when I see a new beer that I haven’t tried…need to save my activity and weekly extra points for those NOT for a random snack on a Tuesday night unless I’m hungry and need it!

We know what has worked for me before, I lost about 4 lbs at my meeting two weeks ago…so what gives? What worked?

1) Meal Planning – it was fun, I loved knowing what meals I could make/have ready all week and I loved having leftovers and lunches!

2) Previewing menus before going out – decide what I want ahead of time..so that I can just enjoy the company when I’m out

3) Bring my own snacks and drinks to house parties, no one cares what I’m drinking

4) Be my own best friend, put myself first…its hard for me to say no when I have pressure (even if its fun, non-threatening pressure)

5) I am better at managing my choices when I get my anxiety in check, so I need to meditate/yoga/exercise/take some me time DAILY

6) I feel like my Weight Watcher’s meetings are Wednesdays are definitely important, but its a group and not a buddy, I need to find a buddy who is doing Weight Watchers and also “gets it”, someone from my regular day-to-day life. I have so many support groups online…so I’m reaching out to friends who may want to be a buddy.

I’d love some suggestions you guys might have about eating out, needing a snack last minute..what do you eat?,

What you might do if you have several “food related” things going on in one week…..

What do you do to have some “me” time..how do you make sure and take it?

I’m glad that I finished Slimgenics…that wasn’t real life…it was SO restrictive so I know why I lost all the weight, but I wasn’t going to be able to maintain that lifestyle…I can’t say no to everything , all the time for the rest of my life.  Weight Watchers has taught me some great lessons on building healthy spaces, meal planning, etc…I just need to get it INTO MY HEAD!

Also, I LOVE that it is finally brightening up and getting a bit warmer here in Minnesnowta!  I am so much better at exercising when I can get outside!!!! Go away winter blahs!!! I need to get my running times back to something acceptable and I want to get back on my bike! YAY!!!

<3 Merbear

Mar 042013
 

Hi!

This week I lost a pretty good amount of weight! What’d I do? Nothing crazy, took some advice from friends like Kris and Mindy who commented on my post last week:

I thought about what makes me feel satisfied, what foods are “whole” also known as Power Foods on Weight Watchers. I thought about how much I eat out and how Kris reminded me that the nutritional information at restaurants isn’t always spot on. I didn’t go crazy with measuring but I also was a bit more careful with it.  I made sure to have fruits and veggies with every meal or snack.   I ate out less and I drank beer only one night and it was just samples with my Barley’s Angel’s group, I also cut out cola except for ONE night because I needed some caffeine and something that was diet. I think that having at least one fish night a week is really good for us, too. I’m a big fan of steelhead trout these days, it tastes and looks like salmon, but is way less expensive and is even a little more moist.

What made me feel satisfied:  home made food

What did I drink: water, sparkling water, tea, coffee, skim milk (some diet soda but without any cola)

What did I prepare: LOTS of Weight Watcher’s and Hungry Girl recipes!!

How did I do it: I sat down on Sunday and whipped through the Weight Watcher’s recipe pages and printed out what looked good like a madwoman and threw them in a folder.  I did the same with my Hungry Girl to the Max cookbook.

Step 1: Grab all the recipes you can in about 30 minutes and get them all in one spot either in a book or printed out

Step 2: Pick 5 that you want to make that week

Step 3: Make a shopping list of what you don’t already have in the house

Step 4: SHOP! :) :)

Step 5: Cook what I want for dinner

Step 6: (if its a Sunday or Saturday, cook what I want for lunches!)

It seems simple enough, but I wasn’t doing this very often, now I will be. This week I have a whole week of lunches, plus other leftovers if I get too busy to cook during the week. I get to eat  Weight Watchers Baked Pasta with Butternut Squash for lunch this week..mmm with cheese, squash and spaghetti, mmmm!!!!

Weight Watcher's Baked Pasta with Butternut Squash and Ricotta

Weight Watcher’s Baked Pasta with Butternut Squash and Ricotta

Then leftover at home I have chili and chicken parmigiana!! All were recipes from the weekend!

I’m also prepared to make buffalo chicken fingers this week as well :)

We learned this last month in Weight Watchers and it finally has hit my brain and is proving to be true, preparing my own food and planning ahead what I  will eat, especially dinners…really helps me stay focused on my points for the day because I feel satisfied and PROUD of what *I* made…I know what’s in it, I know its good for me, and I know its tasty already. I look forward to the meals I made or will make for dinner, and it keeps me on track all day. I know how many points I can have the rest of the day! (This can be translated to calories or whatever type of plan you are on)

Another good thing about prepping ahead: you get all the dishes done on prep day instead of washing pots/pans/mixing bowls etc repeatedly all week..its SO NICE!

I kept the ball rolling…I made ahead and planned meals for this week, too.  Loving this!

Oh, and I’ve earned 12 activity points for WW this week so far (I go Wed – Tue). Add something active and fun into your weekend as a social event or something with a loved one. I’ve been lifting weights and walking/running on the treadmill, too.

<3 Merbear

 

Feb 252013
 

hmm

Food planning, food prepping, eating food, shopping for food, reading menus, reading nutrition labels…thinking about food when I’m not hungry, thinking about food when I am hungry.  Worried about what I eat before I eat it. Tracking every bite that goes into my mouth. Researching nutrition of every bite that goes in my mouth in order to track it.

I’m so sick of food! I want it out of my brain!  I hate having to constantly think about it!

I did a tracking challenge for the last 8 weeks and I succeeded. It was called “Progress not Perfection” and it was put on by Dani Holmes-Kirk..she is a friend of mine, a Weight Watchers leader and a blogger on “Weight Off My Shoulders”

The challenge was to track at least 5 out of 7 days a week for 8 weeks. Well, I tracked 7/7 most of those weeks. One week I was 5/7 and another I was 6/7, but I succeeded. It was January and February. Guess what? I didn’t lose weight. Nope, I never lied on my tracker…but I was constantly over points.

In the last two weeks I’ve made a push to get more activity in daily, its the focus of the month for Weight Watchers and I saw I need a minimum of 12 points of activity a week, which I wasn’t getting. So I walk more/run more I made a plan to do that in order to pump it up.  But guess what? I’m eating all those points…and still going over. BUT, at least its WAY less over than it was before.

I reset my “start” weight at WW last week hoping it would help motivate me only see the scale go down, but I fear I’ve failed again and the scale is going to go up on Wednesday. I’m exercising my butt off today and Tuesday in hopes to at least come out at a maintain…ugh, I hate food!

I’m hungry right now and I’m afraid to eat something because I’m afraid that its going to be the wrong thing to satiate my hunger and then I just wasted points on something that didn’t work on making me feel full. I will eat don’t worry, obviously I eat. But ugh, every day this is a challenge.

Then, if I go enough days without filling myself with what I”m craving, I finally bust out and eat a cheeseburger on the weekend or something. Which technically its fine, but I tried so hard to fill a craving all week that I really don’t have enough points for it.

Thanks for listening to me complain, I would LOVE if you guys have any ideas for staying within my points (if its calorie limits or food choice goals for you guys, that’s cool, too)!!

<3 Merbear

Jan 232013
 

As you all know I’m a WW member now and wow, the program has gotten so full of helpful habits, tips & routines.

This month the routine is adding a fruit or vegetable to every meal.  I had to remind myself at first, but now I do it automatically. It might seem like a chore at first…but adding a banana, strawberries or a melon to breakfast; cherry tomatoes, an apple or oranges with lunch; or,some salad and cooked veggies with dinner has really made me feel fuller and more satisfied with my meals and snacks. I am actually now starting to crave certain veggies..like roasted brussels sprouts!

One habit I am SUPER proud of though is planning out my meals and points before I eat them.  This is a slow habit to build because I’m not a very good meal planner. But, knowing what I’m going to have for dinner…really helps me to stay on track all day. I’m looking forward to my yummy planned ahead dinner and I know what snacks/meals I can have during my work day and not feel guilty or worried about “fitting in” dinner.

Last night I made Steelhead trout. This fish tastes and looks exactly like salmon except it is more tender and has less fat/calories/points and the same amount of protein :)  By the way it was really easy, I just cooked it in a packet of foil in the oven at 375 for 15 minutes. It was PERFECT. (Oh, I put lemon juice, a couple sprays of olive oil, salt, pepper, onion powder and dill) It was a household favorite!

As part of my counting up points before I eat them, I had a Vietnamese take-out victory today. We went to a local, only open for lunch during the week, Vietnamese restaurant to pick up lunch for work today.  I ordered the chicken & vegetable stir fry with fried rice.   I already had my breakfast points in my tracker, I also have my homemade baked chicken fingers for dinner in there too, and then I put in the chicken & vegetable stir fry (2 cups).  After that…I saw how many points I had left for the day. Determined I wanted a snack with points this afternoon combined with my apple, so I took that out. Then, I saw how many points I had left and I MEASURED out 1/2 a cup of fried rice (I keep measuring cups at work!) and threw the rest away!!

Measured my fried rice!

Measured my fried rice!

Threw the rest away!

Threw the rest away!

 

Tracker

 

How about that?  Rockin’ the healthy habits!!!

<3 Merbear

 

P.S.

I’m all set for Fitbloggin’ 13 in Portland! I hope to see you there!

Jan 062013
 

I figured out my key to staying on track. Accountability.

Accountability to myself *and* accountability to the people who make up my support group.

Accountability to myself is *so* important, but its not always enough to keep me on track in challenging situations or when I’m feeling unmotivated or even wanting to give up for the meal/day/week etc.

Sometimes telling myself the reasons why I’m doing this and staying committed isn’t enough.

So how do I get that other support I need?  All of you wonderful people out there in the social media world as well as my awesome healthy friends locally, too.  Reaching out for help, sharing my journey and looking for other people that are sharing has been key to keeping me on track.

Whenever I think I’m not doing well and keeping it all in, kinda hiding my struggles instead of sharing them with my supportive people…it just gets worse until I really hit bottom.

If I get on my blog, or Facebook or Twitter and I share my challenges, ask for advice or just ask for a cheer when I do feel accomplished…it is just so much easier to get back on track and stay on track.

This week I found some truly awesome support groups to add on to the ones I have.

The first group I found is a challenge to track five out of seven days of the week. Its called Progress Not Perfection Trackstar. I *so* needed this group, it has over a hundred people and Dani Holmes-Kirk keeps us updated and motivated. Heck the whole group motivates each other with our tracking successes. Its for anyone who want so track…whether its points, calories, whatever. Its all about tracking. Dani blogs at Weight Off My Shoulders, and if you want…I’m sure she will accept more!

The second group I joined is actually a challenge on the Diet Bet website. This particular challenge already started and its been going about a week. The challenge is to lose 4% of your body weight in 4 weeks. To join a challenge you invite people to “bet” that they’ll get to the goal. If you get to the goal, you can win part of the pot. The plot is split amongst all the people that get to the goal.  So it isn’t about losing the most, its about getting to the goal.  The group is active with weigh-ins, status updates and, well I have $20 in the pot..so I want to succeed!

Also, over the years I’ve been following healthy bloggers and tweeters on Facebook, Twitter and in my RSS readers. I’ve taken the time to post on their blogs and get to know people. It totally helps when I know there are people out there reading what I have to say and caring about what happens. I care about them, too!

I want all my readers and friends out there to know how much I appreciate you and how I totally need you all as my support group and I’m here for you, too! Let me know if I can ever do anything for YOU!

*HUGS*
<3 Merbear