Dieting…..I knew it!

 lifestyle, weight, workouts  Comments Off on Dieting…..I knew it!
May 072016
 

This article really struck a chord with me and my life proves it.

Why You Can’t Lose Weight On a Diet

22 yrs old, a bit “curvy” joined WW – down to 135, crabby all the time but super hot bod, boyfriend stopped calling me “beluga butt”

25 yrs old, engaged, happy – 190

30 yrs old, single again, WW – 165

32 yrs old, dating, happy – 180-200

34 yrs old, married, Slimgenics, skinny, bitchy – 175 lowest weight reached, couldn’t handle it anymore

35 yrs old, 220 lbs, joined Emily Program for Compulsive Eating Disorder, fixed my relationship with food, stopped dieting, left program 37 yrs old, less anxiety, happy – 250 lbs

38 yrs old (now) – content, happy, married, really curvy, size 18-20, strong, fit, only issue: obesity – 250 lbs – I’m scared of my actual weight, but nothing else, love my body, eat mostly what I want 90% good nutrition, keep my body moving the best I can with 3-5 days a week of workouts, yoga, walks and/ or weights

Just thought I’d share, I hope there is more evidence, proof and what to do next,

 

<3 Merbear

 

Aug 162015
 

CrazyAwesome

I tried CorePower Yoga for the first time today. I’ve done yoga before, I’ve even done heated yoga before. I’ve never tried yoga, in front of other people, in a new format, at my current weight.

I am trying different workouts on top of my 2x/week active weight lifting (like bootcamp but with a personal trainer), because I need more movement, more stretching, more engaging activities to burn calories.

I’m okay with hard and I am so thankful for all of the kind words and thoughts flowing from the yoga instructor to the class about doing what feels best, finding the right modifications of poses that work for us, etc…..but I felt only frustrated, upset and embarrassed for myself 90% of the workout. I used to be able to do all these poses, with only a little bit of effort, not because I was well practiced, but because I didn’t have a bunch of fat in the way in my stomach/legs/you name it.

I definitely appreciated the poses I could do and the stretches that felt so good and that I made it through 60 minutes with only truly having to stop once (major foot arch pain). I actually, truly thought about stopping and walking out so I could go to my car and cry I felt like such a failure. Right before I got to the actual point of stopping and leaving though – the instructor would say something to the class that was super encouraging and had us breathe, focus on our breath and why we were there. After class she even found me outside of the studio and told me how well I did in my first class and she answered a lot of my questions which calmed my nerves a bit about participating in other classes and moving forward.

It is still hard for me to forget how I felt though, during most of the class, almost wanting to cry, not because it was too hard, but because I felt like I wasn’t good enough – I kept telling myself my intention for the day though that “I am good enough.”

I’m not really sure where this post is going, I am going back to CorePower Yoga, most likely tomorrow – either another all levels class or I might challenge myself more with some sculpt and do what I can and take a break when I’m overwhelmed.

This is something new, I have a learning curve – it was hard to lift weights when I first started doing that and now I love it.  I know I can do this, seriously…just gotta get back in there, right?

I’m so tired of the body that I’m in, I need it to move/be healthy, I need to love it and I can’t love it the way it is now..its not me…I’m working at getting back to me…its not easy, but it’ll be worth it.

PainReachGoalLifetime

Thanks for “listening”

<3 Merbear

May 082015
 

Hello friends!!!

Last time I posted I talked about Seattle Sutton’s and I have stayed with my weight loss plan since then (which was mid-January).

This is truly MY weight loss plan because it has measurable steps and results that I am totally in charge of. This is the first time I really found my groove with the way I learn…through practice and being accountable to just myself.

What I’m looking for is success in consistency, a regular rate of weight loss during this phase, which I have…I’m down 20 lbs and I did it by eating an average of 1400-1500 calories net (if I exercised I ate those calories, too) per day. That doesn’t mean there weren’t days that were higher than that or lower…but on average I stayed with it…and on average I ended up evening out at losing about 1 lb a week over the last month, yay! (I dropped quicker the 1st month, which is normal)

I lost 20 lbs, I lost several inches off my body, down 1-2 sizes depending on where I shop and my brain is MUCH clearer when it comes to choices, serving sizes and eating in general.

Weight Loss Chart

Weight Loss

Seattle Sutton’s provided me with  3 meals a day that added up to approximately 1200 calories, I added my own light snacks (or beer or dessert) to make up the rest of the calories to get up to 1400. But, with those 3 meals there was even more value than just portion control – a reliable source was providing me with nutritionally balanced meals that were filling, well portioned and….easy to replicate when I make my own meals, or serve myself from someone else’s meals and this is a big one..order from restaurants.

I made a change this week with Seattle Sutton’s…instead of meals every day of the week, I cut down to meals just on week days and I’m in charge of my own weekend meals. Whoa! That sounds scary, the weekends are the scariest for choices….not for me, let me explain.

I am at the highest risk for making poor choices when I don’t have time….when I’m tired on a weeknight/in a hurry to get to work with breakfast in my stomach and lunch in my bag. So, that’s where I’m still getting support for Seattle Sutton’s for another few weeks.

But, I’ve already started making great choices when I am at my leisure…when I am making, ordering or serving myself food.  I’m so used to seeing my whole dinner on a salad plate and I know that if that’s chosen wisely I will be satisfied and I will continue to lose weight…plus I can still enjoy myself.

Over the last few weeks I have had steak/potato/salad for dinner when my husband grilled, I ordered sushi..only 2 rolls and miso soup…SO PERFECT!  I easily made those healthy choices and felt good about them.  I know what my plateful of food should look like veggies/fruit, protein, some carb…..and those proteins are lean proteins and the carbs are the good stuff…its okay they are a potato or rice, or bread….just the right kinds….sometimes its mac ‘n cheese (just not too often and not too much).

I still have about 65 lbs I want to lose, but its coming off and its staying off. The more I lose, the more easily I can move and once I can really get moving….this extra fat is TOAST!

<3 Merbear

Jan 192015
 

My husband and I are going to start Seattle Sutton’s meal plan on Monday. We have signed up for the 21 meal plan so we’re going to have our breakfast, lunch and dinner pre-made for us every day of the week. I pick them up on Mondays and Thursdays..the food is fresh you keep it in your refrigerator and warm it up when you are ready to eat.

This is how we are going to start our journey, by kick starting weight loss without the stress of meal planning and counting right at the start.  Our goal though is to scale back on Seattle Sutton’s as we move forward and do part of the week on our own and part of the week with meals provided (this is an option). Then, once we think we can continue on our own with meal ideas under our belt, we will keep moving forward with healthy weight loss and then maintenance on our own.

Seattle Sutton’s doesn’t really provide counseling and emotional support, they provide a guaranteed 1200 calories a day plus a grocery list of suggestions to supplement that if your body seems to need more to be fulfilled and sustain weight loss…like increasing up to 1500 calories a day.

I will also be going to my doctor every 3 months to have all my vitals tested including fasting blood test, blood pressure, etc etc.  I will be weighing myself regularly as well as getting myself measured by my personal trainer every month per usual. This medical monitoring is a big deal…I have youth on my side, but in a few years…if I keep this weight on or add more…I am endangering my LIFE…so its buck up and solve this now or umm…die..basically…so I choose life. Death is scary…especially if its before I’m like 100 years old or something.

One thing I’m super excited about is to be able to start running again..right now running HURTS and its dangerous for my back and knees at my weight. I was doing great back when I was running at a lower weight though…so once I can fit into my running gear again, I’m going back at it….obviously easy does it…I’ll be making a plan with my personal trainer.

The other support that is needed, is emotional support….I need you my friends and family…please don’t forget about Ryan & I just because we are eating our prepped meals, we still want to see you and spend time with you! In some occasions we can adapt what is being served at a restaurant to fulfill our nutritional goals..on other occasions we’ll bring our own food or we’ll meet you after we’ve eaten.  This goes especially for myself…if eating Seattle Sutton’s 3x a day for awhile forces me to isolate myself from being social, I might lose weight…but I will also lose myself and be extremely lonely. Yes, Ryan is super awesome and I love to spend time with him, but losing weight won’t help us if we kill each other 😛

Not sure what else to say besides I’m excited and nervous to start this whole new chapter in my life….learning portion sizes, what my body needs and how to lose and then maintain for the rest of my life.

<3 Merbear

Apr 152014
 

I joined two challenges one is 8 weeks and one is 6.

They are both awesome for different reasons!

I’m doing Dacia’s Mother’s Day Healthy Living Challenge with Dacia’s blog My Roots to Grow and a Facebook support group. Dacia is a friend of mine that attends the annual Fitbloggin’ conference! Man, I’m so pumped for this year and being part of this challenge makes me even more excited!

I also joined a “Spring Body Transformation Challenge” with my local Fit Body Boot Camp in St Louis Park, MN.  This challenge is monetarily driven….if I don’t succeed at my goals, then the check I wrote at the beginning of the challenge will be cashed. We also have a Facebook support group,  motivational emails and personal texts/calls/assessments with the trainers.

Why I like both of these challenges:

#1 We created our OWN realistic challenges for Fit Body Bootcamp they are for the whole 6 weeks, for Dacia’s challenge they are weekly

#2 We have weekly check ins, daily encouraging posts or emails, and an online and/or in person support group made up of the leaders and the participants in the challege

#3 We determine whether or not we feel we’ve succeeded in our challenges…do we feel like we pushed ourselves, do we feel like we learned something or earned something mentally or physically…..then we succeeded and that’s what these challenges want!

#4 These are make yourself feel good using positive methods challenges!!!!

Progress Report:

Dacia’s challenge – week 4:

  • I have improved my pacing when I’m eating, thus my mindfulness and hearing my full signals
  • I have set the goal of 8,000 steps a day, and while I haven’t accomplished that everyday I have made a drastic improvement in my daily steps…it used to be around 3,000 now its around 5,000 on the days that I don’t make it to 8,000. I also do make up days where I get to 9,000 or 10,000 steps, so overall very good for me!
  • I have improved with eating a fruit or vegetable with every meal
  •  I now make sure and eat breakfast within an hour of waking up to get my metabolism moving

 Fit Body Boot Camp – Spring Body Transformation Challenge – Day 15

  • I regularly attend boot camp 3x a week and I’m on schedule to get there 4x a week starting next week!
  • I have lost 6.75″ off my body in the first 15 days of the challenge and I’ve lost 3 lbs (others have lost more, but this is the pace that is good for me, and that is OK for this challenge, I’m hitting MY goals)
  • I have learned that putting in that bit of extra effort….getting my butt to the gym, my feet moving a few more steps and being honest and diligent with a food journal will help me succeed in getting fit and healthy!

This is why group challenges and goals that are realistic yet challenging are GOOD for you!

What have you challenged yourself to do?

Are you in a group challenge?

Have you been in one in the past, what did you like or not like about it?  

Tell me! 🙂

<3 Merbear

Jul 182013
 

Not to say that I will never have a bout with emotional compulsive eating again, but I have truly moved past them as a regular occurrence in my life.

I started at the Emily Program back in March with an hour of therapy and a half hour of a dietitian every week.  In those months I have been focused on removing food rules, identifying emotional eating, working on what the true causes of my emotional eating are.  For me it is feelings of sadness, loneliness, worry and general anxiety.  There was also just a food anxiety in there that has built up over the years of Weight Watchers and other “food limit/food counting” type of diet plans.

Over the last month or so my food logs, which I have an example of here and my use of H.A.L.T which I talk about here have lead me to a point where pretty much none of my eating is scored as anything out of the average range and I’m eating when I am at the “H” in H.A.L.T, which is Hungry!

I did have one bout with emotional eating a couple weekends ago, but it was short, I identified it and talked myself through it and…it was over and done with after only about 8 Oreos (that’s pretty good!!)

I talked to my dietitian yesterday about being concerned about my weight (for health reasons, not looks) because as I worked on this journey of no food rules and identifying/regulating my emotions, I definitely have put on a few more pounds. I haven’t been weighing myself, but I know because I have to wear bigger sizes.

Since my emotional eating is in the normal range, my dietitian and I moved on to still logging what I’m eating, but also categorizing what I’m eating as follows: protein, grain, vegetable, fruit, fat, dairy or dessert.  Pretty much every serving of food falls into one or more of these categories.  There are guidelines and goals for how many servings in each category a person should be eating and yes servings have measurements. But for now, we are just categorizing, so I can learn about the food groups and how many of each I am getting each day and eventually we’ll move to learning balance and guidelines for each group.  This is all moving towards intuitive eating.

Speaking of, she recommended a book to me that I’ve been reading (and we’ve been following, but not to the letter). I want to recommend it to any of you who are struggling with “eating plans” and “diets”…and instead want to learn about eating what your body needs and wants…..like when you were a baby…you cried for food and stopped when you were done, and you weren’t overweight, right? RIGHT!

Intuitive Eating, 3rd Edition – Evelyn Tribole, Elyse Resch

I feel like I’m taking back control, my dietitian and therapist have been invaluable in helping me learn a new way of eating and a new way of thinking for myself and to get away from thoughts that are triggered by anxiety….thus moving me away from emotional eating which has been destroying my efforts to be healthy almost my whole life.

Thanks for reading

<3 Merbear

Mar 272013
 

I chatted a bit about this in my PNP Trackstar Challenge Facebook group, so thanks to those of you that are reading this again. I thought this would be a good topic to bring up to all my readers.

I haven’t been to a WW meeting for two weeks until today (I was on business trips, couldn’t find another meeting out of town that would fit in either)…..I’m up 9 lbs from my last weigh in. Ugh. I’m very glad that I don’t have any more traveling for quite awhile..and this was the first time I have ever traveled for work. So, I think I will recoup (I actually reset my WW start weight to start over)….and I will be ready with a plan next time I business travel.

There are things that I need to remember to plan ahead for:

1) Barley’s Angel’s meetings..there will be beer..I will be tasting it and discussing it with my friends (1x a month)

2) Parties on weekends….my friends get together and do gaming parties with lots of snacks and alcohol

3) No last minute food challenges…have snacks on hand, meal plans on hand, preview menus or have a plan for when I can’t preview a menu

4) I’m a foodie and a beer geek…there are so many awesome (healthy or not so healthy) things to try out there…I want to try them because I love the variety and trying new things….same with when I see a new beer that I haven’t tried…need to save my activity and weekly extra points for those NOT for a random snack on a Tuesday night unless I’m hungry and need it!

We know what has worked for me before, I lost about 4 lbs at my meeting two weeks ago…so what gives? What worked?

1) Meal Planning – it was fun, I loved knowing what meals I could make/have ready all week and I loved having leftovers and lunches!

2) Previewing menus before going out – decide what I want ahead of time..so that I can just enjoy the company when I’m out

3) Bring my own snacks and drinks to house parties, no one cares what I’m drinking

4) Be my own best friend, put myself first…its hard for me to say no when I have pressure (even if its fun, non-threatening pressure)

5) I am better at managing my choices when I get my anxiety in check, so I need to meditate/yoga/exercise/take some me time DAILY

6) I feel like my Weight Watcher’s meetings are Wednesdays are definitely important, but its a group and not a buddy, I need to find a buddy who is doing Weight Watchers and also “gets it”, someone from my regular day-to-day life. I have so many support groups online…so I’m reaching out to friends who may want to be a buddy.

I’d love some suggestions you guys might have about eating out, needing a snack last minute..what do you eat?,

What you might do if you have several “food related” things going on in one week…..

What do you do to have some “me” time..how do you make sure and take it?

I’m glad that I finished Slimgenics…that wasn’t real life…it was SO restrictive so I know why I lost all the weight, but I wasn’t going to be able to maintain that lifestyle…I can’t say no to everything , all the time for the rest of my life.  Weight Watchers has taught me some great lessons on building healthy spaces, meal planning, etc…I just need to get it INTO MY HEAD!

Also, I LOVE that it is finally brightening up and getting a bit warmer here in Minnesnowta!  I am so much better at exercising when I can get outside!!!! Go away winter blahs!!! I need to get my running times back to something acceptable and I want to get back on my bike! YAY!!!

<3 Merbear

Dec 172012
 

I just need to get it out!

Last week, after a month at weight watchers, not only did I not lose, I gained back everything plus some that I lost in the last month! Whaaaat?  I’m so mad!

And now…its Monday….I have tomorrow and another weigh in coming up on Wednesday, and I do not want to go. I’m 50 points over..no, not 50 points over daily points…50 points over even if you count in my weeklies and my activity points! (not like I got many of those, that’s a whole different story).

I was going to turn it all around today….I ate a healthy breakfast, I packed a good lunch, I was all ready to go…and then…I got a fever on my way to work, hacking cough….could barely think….I basically got sent home…fine..ok…sick

I took some work home with me to occupy my time….but my feelings got in the way, I felt sick, mopey, blah…and I kept picking at the kitchen. Doesn’t it suck when you are too sick to go to work, but not sick enough to be stuck in bed sleeping…so you just, “mope”? I know you guys know where I’m coming from.

Oh but also too sick to walk on the treadmill, or go outside in the crummy/snowy/freezing rainy weather, or exercise…yeah my throat is bad…so all I can do is sit here, pouting, watching TV, and fighting every single second to not go into the kitchen.

Then I get home and hubby hides in the basement, totally not his fault, he doesn’t want to get sick, and I agree…but, I also don’t have a diversion from being BORED and feeling bad for myself.

So I’m hoping this complaining, whiny, feeling guilty about eating anything in my face post…helps me just sit here and be a grown up and quit eating…

Sigh….I just want to at least stay the same weight on Friday..please WW, be nice to me…

I think I will go to my WW meeting, even though I’m freaked as to what it’ll say 🙁

<3 Merbear

 

P.S. I need to look at this more maybe….

August 2011

August 2012

 

 

March 2012

 

Nov 2012

Nov 2012

Running Mojo & Internet Family – Pile On The Miles!

 awesome, C25K, friends, goals, Pile On The Miles, running, support, weight, Weight Loss Plans  Comments Off on Running Mojo & Internet Family – Pile On The Miles!
Oct 252012
 

I actually feel like running again! I figured out what makes me want to run….kinda obvious, but..I guess not for me til now. I need a race or a challenge to train for AND I need my online support system!

I do so much better when I have a plan…yeah, duh, Mer!

I’ve been kinda flopping around the last month or so in life in general and with running. Thank goodness I didn’t stop exercising because I have 2 days I week scheduled with a trainer…but until this week I only went running maybe TWICE in the last month and a half. I didn’t have any particular goal or any races.

Now, I have daily goals for self-improvement in my social media planning and writing, a running goal of re-doing all of C25K for SPEED vs. the distance, and the awesome Twitter #exerciseclub motivating each other daily with a workout move to achieve that day! I love reporting my results of workouts & runs to my social media family! Many of you I know personally and many I don’t, but I know you’re out there rooting for me. Its so wonderful when I hear from someone who found my blog or twitter account and learned something or could identify with me.

So my Internet Family….join a November challenge with me! The link is right over there on the left side of the blog! Pile on The Miles! This challenge is put on by Run, Eat, Repeat, on of my favorite blogs!  Here’s the link to all the info, sign up by Nov 1st!!!

Pile On The Miles

I’m back to consistently losing a little bit of weight every week (its slow, but at least its go!), so that is keeping me on plan..heck if I can manage 2 lbs a week I should be done by Thanksgiving, which I really really really want!! Eye on the prize!

What are YOU doing to stay motivated and fit as the holidays approach?

Do you think you’re going to join Pile On The Miles?

<3 Merbear

Oct 122012
 

Tonight I tweeted out that I felt another whiny blog post coming on and my awesome friends reached out to me.

So instead I want to talk about how important feeling and getting out your feelings can be.

If I hadn’t have shared how I was feeling, Dawn wouldn’t have asked me what was up. Reaching out and telling her & the Twitterverse that I felt like a failure for gaining the weight back that I lost last week and that I was fearing more failure this weekend, empowered me to be open to solving the problem.

Dawn, Liz and other friends tweeted and messaged me that tomorrow is a new day, to focus on what I’d important, get a new start, make new decisions. They are so right. I needed to hear that my guilt about gaining and wanting to sabotage another day are in my head and not that messed up or unsolvable.

Saturday, here in the twin cities, is the Zombie Pub Crawl. I was worried that crawling from bar to bar with my friends would just be way too tempting, after the disappointing week weight wise I’ve had, to not just give in and eat and drink whatever I choose. But, its not true, my supportive friends helped me see that there’s the fun of dressing like a zombie, spending the evening being silly with my friends, hearing bands, dancing, rides and karaoke to look forward to.

I’m in control, I know this now. I’m not saying I won’t have a beer or two, or some special zombie treat. I just don’t have a reason to be worried about it anymore. The night is mine!

Thank you friends, you know who you are, vocal or not this particular evening you are all in my head, cheering for my success.

Oh and P.S. For the first time ever I bought a regular sized, kinda naughty, Halloween costume! Yess!

Merbear