Soybu Winner & Thoughts ‘n Plans

 Basics, contests, goals, lifestyle, support, workouts, Yoga  Comments Off on Soybu Winner & Thoughts ‘n Plans
Aug 312015
 

First – the Soybu Giveaway –  I assigned all 5 entrants a number, by the order they commented.  I used the widget on random.org to choose a number.  The number random.org choices was “1”. The #1 commenter was Liz!! Liz will win a Maria skirt in her chosen size! Congrats Liz!!

Okay so brain dump of feelings/thoughts/plans

Frustration, I feel it a lot…ugh, I just want something to feel right. Why are all the workouts I feel like I can stick to so expensive? How come I can’t just go running and have it work, why does it have to be so hard?

I just want to make a food plan, go grocery shopping, be ready for the week and make healthy food for lunches and dinners…and be able to just eat healthy.

Put those two things together….exercise that I like (I understand HARD, but it can’t suck nor can it eat my whole wallet) and then eat my planned food and have snacks in between that are healthy…

It sounds so SIMPLE…why can’t I make it work?

I set goals and don’t keep them….why?

It seems I’ve only been able to keep up with a good eating plan/exercise plan when I have buy in from others, it can’t just be me. I can’t do things alone and just for me, it doesn’t work in my brain.

A co-worker sent me 2 weeks free of Core Power Yoga, I went 6 times, it was awesome! I loved it!  Now, its $20 a class or some ridiculous price packages I CANNOT afford…I searched for deals and there aren’t any out right now.  I did just sign up for 1 week free of their online yoga videos…so I can make that last another week! I want to keep going to these classes though cause I have a buddy, even if we aren’t in the same class, I feel the camraderie and that we have that in common keeps me going.

I have loyally seen the same personal trainer for about 5 years, I see her twice a week for 30 minutes and she continues to challenge me and build my muscles. Why does this work for me? Appointments, accountability to another person….it so works for me!

I hope this time around…hubby and I are going to go into the healthy eating TOGETHER. I’m good at eating a healthy breakfast, I’m good at packing a healthy lunch and eating eat (saves money too, haha)….but evening plans and weekend things…the things I do with friends and with hubby, just get me off track..it is NO ONE’S FAULT BUT MY OWN…but I need a buddy to be accountable to who is also doing it with me….and hubby says he will and I’m super happy!!  He knows I need the help and unless I’m on a spendy food plan where all my food is practically made for me and super mapped out..I just can’t stick to it, so I’m very excited to have a buddy.

<3 Merbear

Jan 192015
 

My husband and I are going to start Seattle Sutton’s meal plan on Monday. We have signed up for the 21 meal plan so we’re going to have our breakfast, lunch and dinner pre-made for us every day of the week. I pick them up on Mondays and Thursdays..the food is fresh you keep it in your refrigerator and warm it up when you are ready to eat.

This is how we are going to start our journey, by kick starting weight loss without the stress of meal planning and counting right at the start.  Our goal though is to scale back on Seattle Sutton’s as we move forward and do part of the week on our own and part of the week with meals provided (this is an option). Then, once we think we can continue on our own with meal ideas under our belt, we will keep moving forward with healthy weight loss and then maintenance on our own.

Seattle Sutton’s doesn’t really provide counseling and emotional support, they provide a guaranteed 1200 calories a day plus a grocery list of suggestions to supplement that if your body seems to need more to be fulfilled and sustain weight loss…like increasing up to 1500 calories a day.

I will also be going to my doctor every 3 months to have all my vitals tested including fasting blood test, blood pressure, etc etc.  I will be weighing myself regularly as well as getting myself measured by my personal trainer every month per usual. This medical monitoring is a big deal…I have youth on my side, but in a few years…if I keep this weight on or add more…I am endangering my LIFE…so its buck up and solve this now or umm…die..basically…so I choose life. Death is scary…especially if its before I’m like 100 years old or something.

One thing I’m super excited about is to be able to start running again..right now running HURTS and its dangerous for my back and knees at my weight. I was doing great back when I was running at a lower weight though…so once I can fit into my running gear again, I’m going back at it….obviously easy does it…I’ll be making a plan with my personal trainer.

The other support that is needed, is emotional support….I need you my friends and family…please don’t forget about Ryan & I just because we are eating our prepped meals, we still want to see you and spend time with you! In some occasions we can adapt what is being served at a restaurant to fulfill our nutritional goals..on other occasions we’ll bring our own food or we’ll meet you after we’ve eaten.  This goes especially for myself…if eating Seattle Sutton’s 3x a day for awhile forces me to isolate myself from being social, I might lose weight…but I will also lose myself and be extremely lonely. Yes, Ryan is super awesome and I love to spend time with him, but losing weight won’t help us if we kill each other 😛

Not sure what else to say besides I’m excited and nervous to start this whole new chapter in my life….learning portion sizes, what my body needs and how to lose and then maintain for the rest of my life.

<3 Merbear

Apr 152014
 

I joined two challenges one is 8 weeks and one is 6.

They are both awesome for different reasons!

I’m doing Dacia’s Mother’s Day Healthy Living Challenge with Dacia’s blog My Roots to Grow and a Facebook support group. Dacia is a friend of mine that attends the annual Fitbloggin’ conference! Man, I’m so pumped for this year and being part of this challenge makes me even more excited!

I also joined a “Spring Body Transformation Challenge” with my local Fit Body Boot Camp in St Louis Park, MN.  This challenge is monetarily driven….if I don’t succeed at my goals, then the check I wrote at the beginning of the challenge will be cashed. We also have a Facebook support group,  motivational emails and personal texts/calls/assessments with the trainers.

Why I like both of these challenges:

#1 We created our OWN realistic challenges for Fit Body Bootcamp they are for the whole 6 weeks, for Dacia’s challenge they are weekly

#2 We have weekly check ins, daily encouraging posts or emails, and an online and/or in person support group made up of the leaders and the participants in the challege

#3 We determine whether or not we feel we’ve succeeded in our challenges…do we feel like we pushed ourselves, do we feel like we learned something or earned something mentally or physically…..then we succeeded and that’s what these challenges want!

#4 These are make yourself feel good using positive methods challenges!!!!

Progress Report:

Dacia’s challenge – week 4:

  • I have improved my pacing when I’m eating, thus my mindfulness and hearing my full signals
  • I have set the goal of 8,000 steps a day, and while I haven’t accomplished that everyday I have made a drastic improvement in my daily steps…it used to be around 3,000 now its around 5,000 on the days that I don’t make it to 8,000. I also do make up days where I get to 9,000 or 10,000 steps, so overall very good for me!
  • I have improved with eating a fruit or vegetable with every meal
  •  I now make sure and eat breakfast within an hour of waking up to get my metabolism moving

 Fit Body Boot Camp – Spring Body Transformation Challenge – Day 15

  • I regularly attend boot camp 3x a week and I’m on schedule to get there 4x a week starting next week!
  • I have lost 6.75″ off my body in the first 15 days of the challenge and I’ve lost 3 lbs (others have lost more, but this is the pace that is good for me, and that is OK for this challenge, I’m hitting MY goals)
  • I have learned that putting in that bit of extra effort….getting my butt to the gym, my feet moving a few more steps and being honest and diligent with a food journal will help me succeed in getting fit and healthy!

This is why group challenges and goals that are realistic yet challenging are GOOD for you!

What have you challenged yourself to do?

Are you in a group challenge?

Have you been in one in the past, what did you like or not like about it?  

Tell me! 🙂

<3 Merbear

Mar 172014
 
not-alone
I had this conversation with a good friend via instant message over the weekend. I was inspired to blog about it, I was so moved by her reaching out to me and trusting my answers. I want everyone with disordered eating to get help, I want everyone to be in a good place like I finally am.  I want my friends to be happy.

I want to show you all this REAL conversation between REAL people instead of just typing out what you should do if you feel that you might need help….this is real people…and there is help, please remember I am NOT licensed nor an expert, but I have lots of real life experience!

My friend is in pink, I’m in blue 🙂

Do you ever feel the urge to track again even though you know it’s bad for you?

you mean with WW or calories? YES
I DO write down what I’m eating and make sure that I’m eating all the food groups, sometimes I even write down the measurements, but no calories or points

Gotcha. I’m struggling with not tracking my calories, fat, etc right now. I feel scared about weight gain and I want to track again because that feels “safe” even though it makes me insane.

Exactly, my perfectionism triggers my anxiety which triggers my eating disorder..sooo…especially with food, I have learned (and its tough) to not do it
BUT, from my dietitian I have learned ways to listen to my hunger and fullness signals
and understand what my body really does need -> grains, protein, fruit, veggies, fat, dairy and even desserts
When I first started I was tracking what I was eating AND the feelings associated with every meal and snack….even if it was just “normal” or “nothing” I wrote down every feeling
 
Have you thought about working with a dietitian? Often that can be about the same as paying for WW or another weight loss program, but its soo much better! They can be covered by health insurance so you are only paying copays (like me)
if you are diagnosed with an eating disorder (if tracking is a bingeing or compulsive eating trigger, you have an eating disorder)

I have never been diagnosed but believe I should be. I do think I need to work with someone but am trying to figure out how to afford it…

yeah its tough to figure that out My insurance covers me except $25 copay, which I pay weekly, but its worth it, its one of the things I’m doing even though I’m unemployed still

I think I need a real diagnosis before insurance will cover it. How did you go about that process?

Also, thank you so much for talking to me about this and feel free not to answer if I’m asking things I shouldn’t be.

its worth talking about, that’s why I blog about it
So here in MN we have two choices mainly, Melrose and The Emily Program
I already knew about them….they advertise all over
I called in directly and made an intake appointment
they had me talk to an intake therapist, take a few written quizzes and then checked with my insurance for me
if I didn’t know about them, I would have asked my regular doctor for a referral

I’ll see what happens with that and look around for something near me.

my insurance doesn’t require referrals to special programs,might want to check with yours if a referral from your primary is needed?

I’ll do that today. I definitely need more than just myself.

make sure you work with a licensed dietitian (not a nutritionist) and a therapist (if necessary)

Thank you so much.

you are welcome, thank you for trusting me to ask

Of course! I know you’re going through a lot of things that seem similar to me, and that you think about the world a lot like I do too.

The only thing that kinda sucks, and I blogged about it, is that I had to break out of my compulsive eating/perfectionist cycle by breaking all food rules and learning to live without food rules, so at the same time I was in Physical Therapy and couldn’t run or intensely work out,…that mixed with no food rules…I put on 70 lbs , I’m not saying the same will happen to YOU….cuz you are active…but now that I have no eating disorder symptoms and I can workout regularly, its coming back off…but SLOWLY because I don’t diet, I eat intuitively
Hmm, I might blog about this…..do you mind if I don’t use names?

I have been working on not tracking and I have definitely gained some. I seem to be in a holding pattern with gaining now but I’m TERRIFIED to gain more.

And yes, you can blog any of it.

thanks I think a professional would help you, we were born with the ability to eat intuitively and then we lose it, but its how every other species survives, it works for humans too and a dietitian will teach you

———

<3 Merbear
Aug 282013
 

My friend Robby, Fat Girl vs. World asked on Facebook this morning:

“What makes people choose elimination diets (i.e., “no carbs” or “no solid food” or “nothing that rhymes with orange”) over moderation/food logging?”  – click the link if you want to see what everyone from all over the blog world is saying on her FB thread, we have lots of smart friends 🙂

– She noted that this does not apply to people with a food allergy or something like gluten intolerance or celiacs, because obviously those people must eliminate for medical reasons.

Here’s the answer I started typing, I realized it was very long, so I decided to post about it instead:

Elimination and food rules triggers my compulsive eating because I have anxiety and I’m a perfectionist (as diagnosed by my ED therapist and dietitian).

For most compulsive eaters its actually the SAME THING, they just haven’t been diagnosed for an ED or talked to anyone professional about emotions/foods.  If you remove the emotion from a food (which can be done with ED therapy NOT by WW or any elimination diet (paid for or free), you can eat in moderation…

You can have what you want…because you know it’ll always be there, so there’s no trigger to eat more and more. (this is NOT for people who have allergies/diseases etc that require them to eliminate things obviously, I mean people without sensitivities).

For 99.9% of people that are overweight, its all emotion..its all recovery from something

….for people that just got lazy or that had active young lives and now aren’t as active..those people can do WW or calorie counting or whatnot..but that’s not most of us, most of us eat to feel good, to hide something, to repair something.

Just like anxiety, depression, etc….overeating/compulsive eating…even if its not anorexia or bulimia…requires some learning about self-acceptance..it truly helps.

I’m in the middle of  therapy for compulsive eating and I can have all my old “trigger” foods right in front of me, because I have learned how to heal myself in other ways…a lot of me has healed already…I know that my favorite foods – Oreos, spaghetti, pizza, ice cream..well, they will be there tomorrow, too..and oh boy, leftovers of my favorite food (if I happen to get a large portion at a restaurant or make too much at home)…

I automatically moderate now because food doesn’t fix and I know food doesn’t go away..I hope what I’m typing here is helping someone.

I personally go to the Emily Program which I know has locations in Minnesota and Washington State. I also know that Park Nicollet (in MN) has Melrose.

But honestly, reach out to your regular doctor, tell them you want to be connected with someone who can help…compulsive eating is now an eating disorder and can be covered by your insurance.

 

Mar 272013
 

I chatted a bit about this in my PNP Trackstar Challenge Facebook group, so thanks to those of you that are reading this again. I thought this would be a good topic to bring up to all my readers.

I haven’t been to a WW meeting for two weeks until today (I was on business trips, couldn’t find another meeting out of town that would fit in either)…..I’m up 9 lbs from my last weigh in. Ugh. I’m very glad that I don’t have any more traveling for quite awhile..and this was the first time I have ever traveled for work. So, I think I will recoup (I actually reset my WW start weight to start over)….and I will be ready with a plan next time I business travel.

There are things that I need to remember to plan ahead for:

1) Barley’s Angel’s meetings..there will be beer..I will be tasting it and discussing it with my friends (1x a month)

2) Parties on weekends….my friends get together and do gaming parties with lots of snacks and alcohol

3) No last minute food challenges…have snacks on hand, meal plans on hand, preview menus or have a plan for when I can’t preview a menu

4) I’m a foodie and a beer geek…there are so many awesome (healthy or not so healthy) things to try out there…I want to try them because I love the variety and trying new things….same with when I see a new beer that I haven’t tried…need to save my activity and weekly extra points for those NOT for a random snack on a Tuesday night unless I’m hungry and need it!

We know what has worked for me before, I lost about 4 lbs at my meeting two weeks ago…so what gives? What worked?

1) Meal Planning – it was fun, I loved knowing what meals I could make/have ready all week and I loved having leftovers and lunches!

2) Previewing menus before going out – decide what I want ahead of time..so that I can just enjoy the company when I’m out

3) Bring my own snacks and drinks to house parties, no one cares what I’m drinking

4) Be my own best friend, put myself first…its hard for me to say no when I have pressure (even if its fun, non-threatening pressure)

5) I am better at managing my choices when I get my anxiety in check, so I need to meditate/yoga/exercise/take some me time DAILY

6) I feel like my Weight Watcher’s meetings are Wednesdays are definitely important, but its a group and not a buddy, I need to find a buddy who is doing Weight Watchers and also “gets it”, someone from my regular day-to-day life. I have so many support groups online…so I’m reaching out to friends who may want to be a buddy.

I’d love some suggestions you guys might have about eating out, needing a snack last minute..what do you eat?,

What you might do if you have several “food related” things going on in one week…..

What do you do to have some “me” time..how do you make sure and take it?

I’m glad that I finished Slimgenics…that wasn’t real life…it was SO restrictive so I know why I lost all the weight, but I wasn’t going to be able to maintain that lifestyle…I can’t say no to everything , all the time for the rest of my life.  Weight Watchers has taught me some great lessons on building healthy spaces, meal planning, etc…I just need to get it INTO MY HEAD!

Also, I LOVE that it is finally brightening up and getting a bit warmer here in Minnesnowta!  I am so much better at exercising when I can get outside!!!! Go away winter blahs!!! I need to get my running times back to something acceptable and I want to get back on my bike! YAY!!!

<3 Merbear

Nov 132012
 

As most of you know I’ve lost 40 lbs on Slimgenics, and I’m extremely thankful for the program, the counselors, the friends I’ve made via the program online and here at home…..but, I’m done.

No, I’m not done losing weight, but I’m done with Slimgenics…the time for a super strict…can’t have bananas, melons, avocados & carrots plan is over.  I’ve learned some excellent fundamentals from Slimgenics about eating a high protein, lower carb, low glycemic index diet in order to lose weight quickly…..but this is not something I’m going to survive on. I need to learn to lose and then maintain using the much more open, easy to work into intense workouts, group support atmosphere of Weight Watchers. I’m toying the idea of getting to goal and then applying to be a leader….that’s how much I like Weight Watchers.

You may ask: “Well, why haven’t you gotten to go before on Weight Watchers, Meredith?”  My answer is that I truly wasn’t in the right place to have balance yet…I was only in a place for quick solutions. Now, my life is balanced..I exercise…and its FUN….the majority of my friends and all of my family  have a healthy lifestyle…and, well I’m ready. I’m ready to have more choices…..I don’t need the restrictions anymore.

I’m excited that Liz @LutherLiz has a meeting that I can attend with her….she is super motivational and inspiring to me..and that extra push of having a friend in the meetings is just what I need!

So, on to Weight Watchers…tomorrow morning!

<3 Merbear

Running Mojo & Internet Family – Pile On The Miles!

 awesome, C25K, friends, goals, Pile On The Miles, running, support, weight, Weight Loss Plans  Comments Off on Running Mojo & Internet Family – Pile On The Miles!
Oct 252012
 

I actually feel like running again! I figured out what makes me want to run….kinda obvious, but..I guess not for me til now. I need a race or a challenge to train for AND I need my online support system!

I do so much better when I have a plan…yeah, duh, Mer!

I’ve been kinda flopping around the last month or so in life in general and with running. Thank goodness I didn’t stop exercising because I have 2 days I week scheduled with a trainer…but until this week I only went running maybe TWICE in the last month and a half. I didn’t have any particular goal or any races.

Now, I have daily goals for self-improvement in my social media planning and writing, a running goal of re-doing all of C25K for SPEED vs. the distance, and the awesome Twitter #exerciseclub motivating each other daily with a workout move to achieve that day! I love reporting my results of workouts & runs to my social media family! Many of you I know personally and many I don’t, but I know you’re out there rooting for me. Its so wonderful when I hear from someone who found my blog or twitter account and learned something or could identify with me.

So my Internet Family….join a November challenge with me! The link is right over there on the left side of the blog! Pile on The Miles! This challenge is put on by Run, Eat, Repeat, on of my favorite blogs!  Here’s the link to all the info, sign up by Nov 1st!!!

Pile On The Miles

I’m back to consistently losing a little bit of weight every week (its slow, but at least its go!), so that is keeping me on plan..heck if I can manage 2 lbs a week I should be done by Thanksgiving, which I really really really want!! Eye on the prize!

What are YOU doing to stay motivated and fit as the holidays approach?

Do you think you’re going to join Pile On The Miles?

<3 Merbear

Some days, you just have to go with the flow..

 Basics, fun, lifestyle, support, Team REFUEL  Comments Off on Some days, you just have to go with the flow..
Oct 162012
 

 

First…Hello out there Popchips winner..I haven’t heard from you yet! Can you post in a comment here if for some reason I missed your email?? Otherwise, I’m drawing again this week!

Second….vote ALL month for me!!  I NEED YOUR VOTES!  I submitted a video sharing what my After workout ritual is and how I refuel with lowfat chocolate milk and now have the chance to get sponsored on Team REFUEL! Check out my After video to VOTE FOR ME! If it earns the most votes at the end of the month, I’ll be the next sponsored athlete of Team REFUEL and have a chance to star in my own “got chocolate milk?” ad! And it’s all for a good cause. For every vote cast, REFUEL will donate $1 to the Challenged Athletes Foundation. Thanks

SEE MY VIDEO AND VOTE HERE! 

Swinging at the Park

Its the little things

I woke up this morning and I didn’t want to do anything. I was stuck by being po’ed at not losing weight or even maintaining over the weekend. Yes, I had some fun at the Zombie Pub Crawl…totally worth it…

Ryan & I are dressed as zombies

RAWRR BRAAINS!

 

…..but I still kinda felt like I was paralyzed…I couldn’t move on with my day, because I couldn’t decide if I was going to go to Slimgenics and face the music of an official weigh in (after a week of not going)…I stayed in bed and read Twitter, read about jobs, applied for jobs (still looking for some copywriting contracts folks!)….looked at Facebook…then….called my mom….

…yup, calling mom works 🙂  She invited me out on a walk around the lake with her and some homemade mom-style lunch beforehand.  Perfect! It got me something specific to go do and to get my juices flowing! While I was over at my parents’ house I got a voicemail from Slimgenics encouraging me to come in, offering some strategies to stay on track and some Halloween tips. I then planned to go today…but found out from mom that my niece would be spending the evening. I jumped at the chance to hang out with her….thus…swinging at the park and a big smile on my face.

I needed that.

Mom time, adorable niece time…swinging on the swings time..

Know what I mean?

<3 Merbear

 

 

Oct 122012
 

Tonight I tweeted out that I felt another whiny blog post coming on and my awesome friends reached out to me.

So instead I want to talk about how important feeling and getting out your feelings can be.

If I hadn’t have shared how I was feeling, Dawn wouldn’t have asked me what was up. Reaching out and telling her & the Twitterverse that I felt like a failure for gaining the weight back that I lost last week and that I was fearing more failure this weekend, empowered me to be open to solving the problem.

Dawn, Liz and other friends tweeted and messaged me that tomorrow is a new day, to focus on what I’d important, get a new start, make new decisions. They are so right. I needed to hear that my guilt about gaining and wanting to sabotage another day are in my head and not that messed up or unsolvable.

Saturday, here in the twin cities, is the Zombie Pub Crawl. I was worried that crawling from bar to bar with my friends would just be way too tempting, after the disappointing week weight wise I’ve had, to not just give in and eat and drink whatever I choose. But, its not true, my supportive friends helped me see that there’s the fun of dressing like a zombie, spending the evening being silly with my friends, hearing bands, dancing, rides and karaoke to look forward to.

I’m in control, I know this now. I’m not saying I won’t have a beer or two, or some special zombie treat. I just don’t have a reason to be worried about it anymore. The night is mine!

Thank you friends, you know who you are, vocal or not this particular evening you are all in my head, cheering for my success.

Oh and P.S. For the first time ever I bought a regular sized, kinda naughty, Halloween costume! Yess!

Merbear