Oct 052011

Before I talk about the hunger monster, I want to quickly point out that an awesome blogger, Hungry Runner Girl – Janae is giving away some awesome, made for women’s feet ONLY, cute and super neato shoes in a contest through October 12th! Visit her blog and enter!

Okay, did you enter?  Alright lets talk about hunger monster…is it really, or is it, like most monsters, something in my head. Help me decide, what do you guys think based on my story from last night.

Yesterday I was right on track with calories, even planned in my dinner and was well on my way to a perfect exercise/calorie intake day.   I had oatmeal for breakfast, a banana snack, leftover chicken and green beans for lunch, greek yogurt and fruit for snack with a few measured out pretzels, got home and had ground turkey taco salad….then it hit, a headache, and it sucked. One thing about yesterday is I was non-stop thirsty…I normally drink about 3 Priorfatgirl Bottles of water during my work day. Yesterday I sucked up 6 bottles worth. So usually I drink about 75 ozs a work day, and yesterday I doubled it! I felt like there wasn’t enough water in the world to make me not thirsty.

I have some time before my workout so I take some Advil, set an alarm for a nap and snooze for a bit. Still a no go, still have a headache, I head to the gym to do my personal training appointment, hoping that the headache will wear off and the Advil will start kicking in.  It didn’t, but I fought through it during my session. But, I couldn’t even fathom pounding it out on a treadmill or swinging back and forth on an elliptical with my headache…so I went home with no cardio.

I get home, clean up a bit and put on my jammies. I then decided to go get snuggly in bed early. I flip on the TV and…I’m hungry..okay well I did lift weights that makes sense…I go back downstairs and grab a skinny cow cup of ice cream…head back upstairs to snuggle back in bed…I finish it in like .02 seconds. My headache starts to go away, I start to settle in, my tummy rumbles…still hungry…I go to get a bowl of cereal..I measured out my milk and Cheerios, I bring it back upstairs to finish my show while snuggly in bed. I finish it, wait 15 minutes, still hungry…AARGH..try to ignore it…drink more water…boo, still hungry. I go back downstairs…stare at stuff in the kitchen, what will make me not hungry, what will satisfy this hungry monster…I also start feeling guilty for my snacks, so I grab a Two Degrees chocolate peanutbutter bar, its got lots of things to make me feel full in it…and I hide it in my pocket as I walk past my boyfriend to go back upstairs, claiming I just came down to wash out my cereal bowl.


I was hungry, but I was also feeling guilty and I also loved the feeling of snuggling into bed by myself, hiding the wrapper under stuff on my nightstand and eating the bar and nobody knew it. Umm, yeah, this feeling is familiar, I haven’t had it for years…it reminds me of  junior high and high school when I’d wait for nobody to be in the kitchen and I’d bring food to my room late at night.  Not like my parents would have gotten mad at me for eating if I was hungry and tonight I really was hungry, back in high school I was bored and using food as someting to do and control….but now? I don’t need that now…or did I?  Was my headache/not being able to finish my workout/just wanting to be comfy….making my stomach fake out my brain and make me go get more food? Could a truly rumbling tummy have been a hungry monster?

Sigh, I did add all the food into My Fitness Pal, I ended up about 300 calories higher than I should have been for my goal for the day, not big, but I can’t do that regularly, I gotta dig deep and make sure I really was hungry or what went on there.

Just wanted to share, thanks for reading.

<3 Merbear

Sep 142011

I don’t mean my running speed, but my life in general.  For the last week or so every couple days I’ve been waking up with a mild fever (99). As well all know, at 99 most daily functions are not affected, maybe a bit more sitting down and an extra blankie or sweater, but its not really a big deal. 

The first day it happened, last Tuesday, I thought I was getting sick, so I took the rest of the day off work and came home and tried to take a nap and take it easy the rest of the day. I thought it worked because I was fine, a bit tired, but fine the rest of the week.  On Friday I even ran around Lake Calhoun, which is a little over 3 miles.  On Saturday morning I got up and I was fine, too.

Sunday morning I got up, felt fine, but as I was getting ready for the America the Beautiful 5K my boyfriend gave me a hug and said I felt hot and sweaty, I took my temp, yup it was 99 again.  I didn’t want to overheat or overstress myself so I got back in bed, slept for a few more hours and did my regular stuff that day also taking Advil. I woke up again Monday and Tuesday morning with a fever, too..only 99 and it went away, without Advil by midday.

Okay so now we get to last night, Tuesday night. I go to the gym and do an upper body workout with my trainer, it went awesome, I felt great.  I go to the treadmill to start Bridge to 10K (B210K), for Week 1 Day 1 its 5 minute warmup, 10 minute run, 1 minute walk, repeat run/walk 3 more times, then 5 minute cooldown. The warmup is great, the first 10 minute run is great, so now I’m at the 16 minute mark…I start in on the 2nd 10 minute run….get 5 minutes in and I have to slow down at the 21 minute mark, then I need to WALK cause I’m feeling fatigued at the 23 minute mark, by 25 minutes I tried to speed up again, but not as fast and by 27 minutes I was feeling an empty pit in my stomach and kinda going crosseyed, I hit the stop button got off and sat down immediately.  Yeah, I basically made it through 1 1/2 of the runs.   I made it 2 miles.

Normally I can make it a 5K (3.1 miles) plus some, so I wasn’t even at the point that would have pushed my limit….unless…I was sick…well after consulting with a personal trainer I realized that while I don’t have a cold, cough, swollen glands, aches or pains….the fever burns a lot of calories and also signals that something is going on. The empty feeling in my tummy was basically hunger, my body was working so hard on fighting whatever is going on, that I need more fuel…thus the fatigue, too.  

On the way home I called my mom to see if she had any thoughts, my boyfriend joined in on the convo, too (hands free speakerphone in my car).  We came to the conclusion that my body and mind are stressed out. Not because anything *bad* is happening in my life, I just do too much.  I don’t have evenings during the week or quiet time during the day on weekends when I just relax and clear my head and just “be”. This is something I’m going to have to reflect on. I love seeing my friends, I love engaging with people face to face, but I also love my health, being able to lift weights and run, and of course I love my boyfriend, whom I live with and we can definitely spend quality time together that is peaceful and relaxing. I could get used to doing that more often 🙂

So,  I went home and had a protein shake, a Skinny Cow Ice Cream Cup, relaxed in front of the TV, and went to bed early. I feel better today, a lot better, oh and hungry..hehe…I had oatmeal for breakfast and I’m planning pasta and cottage cheese for lunch.

This evening is Foo Fighters, so I won’t be cancelling that event, but going down the line I’m going to be a bit more concious of how many nights I plan out during the week and what I plan on weekends, too.  I think what really got me is the last couple of weekends I haven’t been sleeping in, and I’ve been go go go from early in the day events, to afternoon events, to evening events, then in bed late….I need those weekend sleep ins more often for starters.

Do any of you have any thoughts or suggestions on my conclusion?

Has this happened to anyone else?

<3 Merbear

Umm hi, my name is Meredith and I like burgers, fries and malts

 Food, guilty, Setbacks  Comments Off on Umm hi, my name is Meredith and I like burgers, fries and malts
Sep 082011

Durr, I did so well! Even at the state fair I did so well…then last night, it was in the moment, I was having a blah day after feeling icky and sick for two days. I didn’t want to go home and prep dinner, wait for dinner to cook, then clean up dinner….I just wanted to have some comfort food, with my boyfriend.  It was his idea, but usually I can make a better food choice or ask for other options, not last night, The Convention Grill, in Edina on Sunnyside and France Avenue, a family favorite when I was a kid, sounded PERFECT.

Obviously this wasn’t a planned treat, what was planned was red potatoes and baked chicken for dinner, raw chicken in the refrigerator, potatoes out on the counter ready to be cut up (still there this morning!)

Convention Grill has been serving up burgers, malts, baskets of fries, phosphates and sundaes since 1934, they even make their own hot fudge to this day.  Yeaaah, I got a hot fudge malt, and a cheeseburger, and I ate a ton of fries.  It was soooooooooo gooood.

Do I hate myself? NO. Do I feel a tiny bit guilty for ruining a practically perfect eating day, especially only 3 days after the fair AND I didn’t work out on Tuesday.  YES.

What did I do about it?  I logged it in MyFitnessPal..which promptly told me if I continue to eat this many calories a day for the next 5 weeks I’ll be like a million pounds more. (okay that’s slightly exaggerated, heh, but the number wasn’t pretty).

In the past, I’d think in my head that since I messed up I might as well enjoy it and mess up more and start over in the morning.  In the past I would have gone home and made one of my special adult rootbeer floats. I’ll tell you later, cause you WANT one, on a good day, when you have the calories/points to spend, ok? 🙂 I would have eaten a bunch of pirate’s booty, some regular popcorn, maybe even a few of my TLC cookies…

Guess what I did? I thought to myself “well that food tasted pretty good, won’t be back here for awhile though” and I went home, grabbed a bottle of fizzy water and moved on..yup…moved on.

My mom or dad may read this post and my mom will be a bit bummed that I went to the Convention Grill, my dad will be jealous and say, “Mer, I want some Barfy’s!” (that’s our name for it, cuz its so yummy greasy).  My personal trainer will probably see this on Facebook and wonder why I mentioned how well I did at the fair, but didn’t mention my little foray into the greasy spoon.

I wish I did feel badly about going, like REALLY badly, like I wish it gave me a stomach ache or something, cuz in my head, it hasn’t really hit me that I made an awful choice. I want it to kick in..MEREDITH DON’T DO THAT! But, it just doesn’t.  Its not like I do this all the time..I’ve continued to drop sizes, lose body fat, etc if I continuously made bad decisions obviously that wouldn’t happen.

Today I got up and went to do my workout, which felt awesome, I had my bagel thin and peanutbutter before my workout..umm I ate a few leftover fries after my workout…and  well I packed some in my lunch, I ate a few, and it kicked in, THIS IS CRAZY, so I threw the rest away,  they are all gone…at home and here at work.  I ate some of my non-creamy southwest tortilla soup, drank a bunch of water and voila..I’m back on track.  I hope? Just gotta keep on truckin, trying, and doing my best.

Jul 112011

I go on vacation for 5 days, I wipe out my 3 lb loss and put on an extra pound by the end of that vacation – setback?

During my vacation I log my food, try to make smart choices, limit my alcohol, and I ran on the treadmill, getting up earlier than anyone else, TWICE – success?

3 days after I get back from vacation, I’m back to one lb down, but not my pre-vacation weight – sucess? setback?

Now, I was thinking my vacation was a “fail” because I gained weight, didn’t even maintain….but look what I did on vacation, I limited my intake of crap, I drank way less than everyone else, and I exercised!! Sounds like a success to me, even if it wasn’t a scale success, yes?

In the past vacation would have been a free for all, and I probably would have come home feeling even more bloated and my clothes probably would feel tight by the end of the trip.  I’m working off my vacation and trying to plan for my next trip next week for how I will keep on track.

I’m thinking that my most recent vacation, while it had a weight gain, it had a lot of learning opportunities and I was pretty successful. I learned that I can be my own advocate, I can ask for what I want and I don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.  My friends and my family support me, and voila, so does my new found “family” that I met in Cleveland (aka my boyfriend’s family).

I also learned that its not *THAT* bad to relax a little on vacation, yeah I put on a few lbs, but I’m taking them back off and it could have been worse if I didn’t exercise, and that exercise made me feel good! I wish my vacation wasn’t so close to the beginning of my commitment to myself, but life happens, I just have to learn to roll with it and keep moving forward.

I think going down the line, if I learn something, use that knowledge in the future and be an advocate for myself, I will always be successful!

Okay and lets end this post with my adorable little buddies that I’ve had in my life for about 10 years now and what I’m going to be doing every night for the next 3 weeks, packing!

Isis giving you the “huggy purry” eyes

Shorty, looking for trouble

Tomorrow I want to talk more about Couch to 5k!