Oct 312011


Today I was inspired to set forth with my holiday planning.  Most might think, oh? What gifts will you buy? What cards will you send? What decorations will you put up?  But, that’s not the holiday planning that I’m thinking of.  Of course I’ll decorate and send out cards, but that is secondary.

The first, most important plan has to do with Goals!

Starting today..Halloween is the start of the challenging holiday season, inspired by Tara from A Life Changing Journey. I saw her posting on Twitter @Tidbits_of_Tara with the hashtag #DontEatTheTreat and I had to see what it was all about.

She’s starting off facing the holiday season by saying no to Halloween candy and she’s right, its not just a one day thing, its the discount candy for the next couple weeks, people bringing in leftover candy to the office with open bowls sitting around, and it expands into holiday treats being brought into the office, holiday parties, time with family that includes dinners, desserts and drinks….this is the beginning.

I really needed #DontEatTheTreat I have a bowl of candy corn in the house and we have a bag of halloween candy for the kids coming to the door.  Only I like candy corn, I bought it to put on a treat I made for work. (yeah oops, that was before my new goal)  I came home and dumped out the bowl of candy corn on top of yucky garbage.  The halloween candy that doesn’t get  picked up by trick or treat will either be dumped in the garbage as well, or given to my boyfriend who has lots of hungry boys that he works with and they looove candy!

Normally, I would keep a couple pieces for treats in lunches and stuff, but I can’t do that right now, I’m really trying to be focused and having candy in the house will  be “oh I’ll just have one before bed” then “just one before bed and one in my lunch” then “one before bed, one in my lunch, one after dinner” and so on.

That would lead to me being okay with a snack here and there on treats throughout the month of November, then extra desserts with thanksgiving, then holiday cookies and candy all the way through Christmas. Finally ending the year with New Year’s Eve over indulgences!

Well, this is NOT going to happen to me!  My plan isn’t like Tara’s but it is going to be a PLAN

Part I: Food Defense

– Halloween: #DontEatTheTreat – no office leftovers, no discount candy, no trick or treating leftovers

–  Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners: Focus on the people, not the food.  My family eats pretty healthy, but I don’t want to overindulge. Ask ahead about the menu think about what are my favorites, what I can have any day, what is best for me to eat and what I should pass on. Fill my plate first with roasted veggies/salads then go back for starch/protein and finally ONE dessert

– From Thanksgiving to my Christmas vacation:  Office challenges!  Back to #DontEatTheTreat I do not need holiday candy, bars and cakes to enjoy the holidays. I think I’ll be posting and tweeting #DontEatTheTreat now through Christmas vacation!

– New Years Eve: Plan an activity that is engaging most likely with a group of friends, or make it romantic. Focus on new beginnings, blessings and love.  Plan ahead for a glass of champagne or a nice dinner, make sure I know what I’m eating

Part II:  Gear Up for the New Year!

I want to start off 2012 with a bang, so why not get going now!

I have two 5Ks to run between now and the end of the year and I’m considering a 3rd one on New Year’s Eve.

Turkey Day 5K on Thanksgiving here in Minneapolis and then the Santa Hustle in Chicago on Sat Dec 3rd!

I want to get a new PR on my 5Ks so I have a plan that my personal trainer set up for me! This will get me running, hopefully outside 2x a week if the weather cooperates and inside 2x a week after my weight training days.

4 runs a week:
Run 1: 30-40 minutes of 30 seconds 6mph sprint/2 mins 4.2 mph jog, alternating til exhausted 🙂

Run 2: 45-60 minutes of running at a maintained pace, aiming for 4.6 mph (hope to be outside)

Repeat 1 and 2 again.


Who’s with me? Who else has a holiday season plan?  

<3 Merbear



Oct 102011

After a weekend with some personal drama that could have affected my healthiness journey, I am proud to say that I worked through my feelings, talked with friends,  and stayed on track health wise! My mind is clearer and I don’t have guilt from eating my feelings, because I didn’t!

I reached out to one of my best friends when I was feeling bummed and she invited me to hang out with her for the day and I delved in to helping her fix up some things in her new apartment and we ran errands. We also talked about what was on my mind, so it worked out very well!

I am happy to report I stuck to my guns with my alcohol plan…I had two beers, on Friday, and that was my treat. I didn’t eat dessert at the restaurant on Friday night, I didn’t have any other alchohol this weekend.

 I got a nice compliment from my family on my mom’s birthay dinner on Sunday, that I’m looking nice..yay!  Oh yes, my mom’s birthday, we had a dessert, I ate about 3 bites of the strawberry topping and a bite of my boyfriend’s cookie, that’s it! YAY!

I also ran intervals on Saturday morning, I only had 20 minutes to workout so I did two minutes running as fast as I could and 1 minute walking. I went almost 2 miles…and it was my best speed ever!! Yes, it was only 2o minutes, but I plan to extend that to 30 and then 40…as I do that I know my 5K speesd will improve because my anaerobic ability is improving, which my trainer really wants me to work on!

Oh, I might have sneaked a look at the scale this morning, too…for some reinforcement on saying no to dessert and beer last night and making good decisions all weekend, its working, I should see a new low for the year come Friday…woohoo!

This weekend I also got lots of positive reinforcement and group therapy you could say by attending a Prior Fat Girl Meetup #PFGMeetUp on Twitter. The main author of PriorFatGirl.com is Jen and she is local here in Minnesota. This was not one of her big events where she had speakers or a schedule.  We just casually gathered and Jen had a few conversation starters, but we basically went around the room sharing anecdotes and experience. I felt strong and supported at the end of that meeting, too! There will be more…so check out her blog or follow #pfgmeetup or @priorfatgirl on Twitter!

Here’s the nice sized group of all different shapes and sizes that gathered to share some pretty close to the heart advice and stories:






<3 Merbear

Oct 052011

Before I talk about the hunger monster, I want to quickly point out that an awesome blogger, Hungry Runner Girl – Janae is giving away some awesome, made for women’s feet ONLY, cute and super neato shoes in a contest through October 12th! Visit her blog and enter!

Okay, did you enter?  Alright lets talk about hunger monster…is it really, or is it, like most monsters, something in my head. Help me decide, what do you guys think based on my story from last night.

Yesterday I was right on track with calories, even planned in my dinner and was well on my way to a perfect exercise/calorie intake day.   I had oatmeal for breakfast, a banana snack, leftover chicken and green beans for lunch, greek yogurt and fruit for snack with a few measured out pretzels, got home and had ground turkey taco salad….then it hit, a headache, and it sucked. One thing about yesterday is I was non-stop thirsty…I normally drink about 3 Priorfatgirl Bottles of water during my work day. Yesterday I sucked up 6 bottles worth. So usually I drink about 75 ozs a work day, and yesterday I doubled it! I felt like there wasn’t enough water in the world to make me not thirsty.

I have some time before my workout so I take some Advil, set an alarm for a nap and snooze for a bit. Still a no go, still have a headache, I head to the gym to do my personal training appointment, hoping that the headache will wear off and the Advil will start kicking in.  It didn’t, but I fought through it during my session. But, I couldn’t even fathom pounding it out on a treadmill or swinging back and forth on an elliptical with my headache…so I went home with no cardio.

I get home, clean up a bit and put on my jammies. I then decided to go get snuggly in bed early. I flip on the TV and…I’m hungry..okay well I did lift weights that makes sense…I go back downstairs and grab a skinny cow cup of ice cream…head back upstairs to snuggle back in bed…I finish it in like .02 seconds. My headache starts to go away, I start to settle in, my tummy rumbles…still hungry…I go to get a bowl of cereal..I measured out my milk and Cheerios, I bring it back upstairs to finish my show while snuggly in bed. I finish it, wait 15 minutes, still hungry…AARGH..try to ignore it…drink more water…boo, still hungry. I go back downstairs…stare at stuff in the kitchen, what will make me not hungry, what will satisfy this hungry monster…I also start feeling guilty for my snacks, so I grab a Two Degrees chocolate peanutbutter bar, its got lots of things to make me feel full in it…and I hide it in my pocket as I walk past my boyfriend to go back upstairs, claiming I just came down to wash out my cereal bowl.


I was hungry, but I was also feeling guilty and I also loved the feeling of snuggling into bed by myself, hiding the wrapper under stuff on my nightstand and eating the bar and nobody knew it. Umm, yeah, this feeling is familiar, I haven’t had it for years…it reminds me of  junior high and high school when I’d wait for nobody to be in the kitchen and I’d bring food to my room late at night.  Not like my parents would have gotten mad at me for eating if I was hungry and tonight I really was hungry, back in high school I was bored and using food as someting to do and control….but now? I don’t need that now…or did I?  Was my headache/not being able to finish my workout/just wanting to be comfy….making my stomach fake out my brain and make me go get more food? Could a truly rumbling tummy have been a hungry monster?

Sigh, I did add all the food into My Fitness Pal, I ended up about 300 calories higher than I should have been for my goal for the day, not big, but I can’t do that regularly, I gotta dig deep and make sure I really was hungry or what went on there.

Just wanted to share, thanks for reading.

<3 Merbear

Sep 232011
A weird phenomenon lately, I want the ability to buy junk food, but I don’t necessarily crave eating it or even end up eating it.
I think its a power thing..I can buy that cheeseburger and fries if I want to!  Cheesy pasta in the cafeteria? I can buy that if I want to! Oooh, people are picking up some chocolate treats by the register? Me, too!
But then I bring the items home (if it was grocery shopping) or back to my desk (if I was at work) and I look at it…sometimes pick at it a bit and eat a reasonable amount, and the rest…goes in the garbage. Some things, I’ve looked at, said “whoops, guess I’m not gonna eat that”..and I offer it up to coworkers and if that doesn’t work, it goes in the garbage.
While I feel bad for wasting money and food, I don’t feel deprived for not letting myself eat it….the action of buying the food and claiming as mine and maybe looking like a “normal” person who can eat those things whenever she wants, that’s what made me feel fulfilled…not the food itself.
Its not that I don’t get food cravings, but these days its for food that is good for me, like “oh man I really want a vegetable-y salad that’s crunchy!” Or, I want some cottage cheese or maybe at the worst a Skinny Cow ice cream product. But that’s not guilt food, or bad for me!
So I’m still driven by cravings that are in my head, but then sense comes over me before it makes it into my mouth most of the time….weird, huh?
Does anyone else experience this?  I’m also a “retail therapy” type of girl, too..I’ve reigned it in over the years but it makes me feel good to go shopping, so maybe that’s related?
Aug 242011

After a difficult night, broken up sleep, and a headachey morning nothing was helping…

Last night started out awesome! I had just finished my first 30 minute run ever and I was taking a long, hot shower. Then it happened…..

I was leaning over putting back my body scrub and the bath mat slipped, I slipped, slammed down on my knees, slammed my chest on the edge of the tub, and hit the front of my head on the toilet!  I was FREAKED OUT!

Fortunately I didn’t pass out, black out, get dizzy or vomit, but my head really hurt and my boyfriend wanted to take me to the ER.

The triage nurse deemed that I didn’t need any xrays, but I should be woken up and asked to identify myself and my surroundings every 2 hours through the night. My boyfriend volunteered and so I was able to.go home vs waiting 2 hrs for the official opinion from the ER doctor.

This morning comes….I’m tired, my head hurts, my knee hurts, still feeling freaked out and I head to work.

I needed a pick me up…coffee wasn’t working, fresh fruit and yummy oatmeal wasn’t working…talking it out with coworkers didn’t brighten me up. 

I opened my purse and there they were..Skinny Cow Dark Chocolate Dreamy Clusters. Omigosh, crunchy, chocolatey, you get 5 in a portion controlled pack for 120 cals. They were perfect! A nice little mood brightener….you guys should try em!

I do not like to solve things with food, but I really do think my brain needed some of that spirit lifting fulfillment of dark chocolate.


Have any of you ever hit your head? What did you do?

What portion controlled treats do you like?

<3 Merbear

Jun 282011

On Thursday evening I’m leaving with my boyfriend and his dad for a 13 hour drive to Cleveland, 3 days there, and a 13 hour drive home.

I’m not nervous about the driving, or even the pit stops/meals when driving, I will be in control, I will still be in the company of familiar people.

I am *SO* nervous about the long weekend in Cleveland! We will be with my boyfriend’s family, who are all super nice people (so I’ve heard), and we will be staying with his grandma.  I don’t want to inconvenience anyone, but I also don’t want to sabotage my healthy lifestyle right when I got in to a new plan and everything!

Maybe its just my anxiety and fear of the unknown, because I asked my boyfriend if we could stop at the grocery store so I can pick up fruits and veggies for his grandma’s house and he said we could. I also asked if people will be offended if I don’t drink and he said they won’t at all, in fact his sister is a couple years sober and so there will be definitely lots of NA options all weekend.

Its going to be hot hot hot in Clevelend and there aren’t any LA Fitness clubs and his grandma/family doesn’t own a treadmill anywhere. So I am worried it’ll be too hot (like 90 and humid hot) to run outside, and I won’t have a place to do my C25K!  If its super hot we may get a hotel room cause his grandma doesn’t have AC and I’m kinda pushing for it, cause then there would be an exercise room with a treadmill, I can control my food by having a stash in the hotel and I can just be more relaxed in the mornings not wondering who else is up/using the bathroom, etc.

I am bringing my workout gear! I am not giving up on being able to workout even before I get there, but I’m still worried.

I think the rest of the aspects of the vacation will rock…speaking of I get to see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Great Lakes Brewery, taste a famous sandwich from Schleiman’s…perhaps go on a river cruise. Oh and the main reason we’re going, is a wonderful outdoor wedding in an apple orchard!

Okay I’m done obsessing, it felt good to write it down, I’d love to hear your thoughts.