Oct 122012
 

Tonight I tweeted out that I felt another whiny blog post coming on and my awesome friends reached out to me.

So instead I want to talk about how important feeling and getting out your feelings can be.

If I hadn’t have shared how I was feeling, Dawn wouldn’t have asked me what was up. Reaching out and telling her & the Twitterverse that I felt like a failure for gaining the weight back that I lost last week and that I was fearing more failure this weekend, empowered me to be open to solving the problem.

Dawn, Liz and other friends tweeted and messaged me that tomorrow is a new day, to focus on what I’d important, get a new start, make new decisions. They are so right. I needed to hear that my guilt about gaining and wanting to sabotage another day are in my head and not that messed up or unsolvable.

Saturday, here in the twin cities, is the Zombie Pub Crawl. I was worried that crawling from bar to bar with my friends would just be way too tempting, after the disappointing week weight wise I’ve had, to not just give in and eat and drink whatever I choose. But, its not true, my supportive friends helped me see that there’s the fun of dressing like a zombie, spending the evening being silly with my friends, hearing bands, dancing, rides and karaoke to look forward to.

I’m in control, I know this now. I’m not saying I won’t have a beer or two, or some special zombie treat. I just don’t have a reason to be worried about it anymore. The night is mine!

Thank you friends, you know who you are, vocal or not this particular evening you are all in my head, cheering for my success.

Oh and P.S. For the first time ever I bought a regular sized, kinda naughty, Halloween costume! Yess!

Merbear

  2 Responses to “Feeling failure, guilt, support & control”

  1. hey! I totally get this and I’m sorry if I wasn’t around when you needed support (damn time difference!) – funnily enough I don’t talk enough about how I feel because there was a period (a bad period) where I did and it came off as negative and people got sick of hearing me whine about things all the time (my interpretation – I’m sure I wasn’t easy to deal with, but nonetheless it hurt that people “dumped” me when I actually needed them most…), so I have gotten used to just shutting up and not saying anything. While at Fitbloggin, and listening to so many people share and feeling like I couldn’t… I wanted to really try and change that, to be more open, to talk about my feelings, etc., because maybe, just maybe I wouldn’t feel so alone, you know?

    Please remember that this is a longterm thing, you health and fitness AND your weight. Just because you gain something back from the week before doesn’t mean that you have failed. Find and focus on the GOOD things, things you can still be proud of from the week that have nothing to do with weight. Non-scale celebrations are also really important.

    and most of all, enjoy your life because this is the only one we get. strive for balance. you can do a pub crawl and not undo your hard work. Have fun!!

    xxx Renée

    • <3 <3 thank you Renee!!! (I have no idea how to do accents on my computer) I think its good for us to share our feelings...for me it really DOES get it off my chest and give me the ability to really think about what is important because its not only weighing me down..its out there for all the see. I know what you mean about worrying if you are annoying readers..a lot of us, like me...want to see all sides of someone..cause there is always someone else out there thinking what you are thinking or needing to hear what you have to say. I just have to remember that.

      Also yes, life is life..and we only have one...I hate to say "YOLO" but I guess this is a good place to put it. I definitely don't want to shorten my life in any way (by going back to an unhealthy weight)..but that won't happen..just a few setbacks and learning opportunities here and there :)

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